tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18440943.post2482159030799756156..comments2023-09-08T04:38:55.306-04:00Comments on The Heron Clan: NegotiationUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18440943.post-55557295800080855232011-06-26T20:42:37.292-04:002011-06-26T20:42:37.292-04:00Sounds like a great plan going forward... I think...Sounds like a great plan going forward... I think we all look at our younger selves and just shake our heads. I know I do.Impish1noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18440943.post-7379201554953645372011-06-26T10:58:28.547-04:002011-06-26T10:58:28.547-04:00Swan, this is a very thoughtful post and opened i[...Swan, this is a very thoughtful post and opened i[ a lot of insight for me.<br /><br />I really identify with the way you've operated in the past-lol-because I did the same thing with both of my marriages. It wasn't until a few years ago when I was first exploring and had a few tops that were good, and really pushed me hard with the negotiations that I learned to actually do some of that... The best thing about that is that it spilled over into my real life, including work. I was exceedingly fortunate to have those men in my life at that time. They also taught me about being safe, including safe calls. One wouldn't even "play" if I didn't set a safe call up!<br /><br />I do agree with what Meow says above...<br /><br />I would also add that if you carefully read the 1st step, it only says that we are "powerless over alcohol", not that we are powerless over everything! We may choose to apply that at any time to other situations or problems in our life, but we are NOT powerless over everything. I exert my personal power anytime I choose to think or do anything. I have, for nearly 30 years, realized that I am powerless over alcohol, but I choose to admit that which in it's own way is an exertion of my personal power.<br /><br />Don't give away your power, any of you, just because some people misinterpret the point of the steps. Even step 3 talks about making decisions, which is a form of personal power.<br /><br />I wish I could transplant the 3 of you to Texas for a while, and expose you to some AA & treatment that is not in Ohio. That area is one of the most literal/rigid of AA. I've spent a lot of time researching AA history, (plus living nearly 1/2 of it). There was always a lot of tension between New York and Akron in the very early days, with Bill W. always pushing for more openness and acceptance that Akron wanted.<br /><br />I'm so glad the physical recovery is going so well. If he has any need to cut anything, consider a rolling cutter that you can find at sewing shops in a variety of sizes. (Quilters use them) <br /><br />I've been away for a while, have some comments on other posts that I just finished reading that I will be adding....<br /><br />Love and good wishes to all of youLynLasshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15278590123233322547noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18440943.post-67872958482440316312011-06-26T10:33:46.883-04:002011-06-26T10:33:46.883-04:00Having been in and out of 12 step groups (as a &qu...Having been in and out of 12 step groups (as a "codependent" of people I love) for many years, I can say that I agree with a lot of what you say about those groups. They can be clique-ish, inflexible, preachy and very frustrating. I also have found a lot of help there and the person I care about has found a lot of his own power when he stopped letting his addiction control him. I hope this eventually happens with your situation. I certainly do not "bend him to my will". His own feeling of powerfulness had to grow with his sobriety but it did return! <br /><br />Sorry if this is not responsive to what you wrote, but I just finished reading your blog for the last year and have identified with so much of what you went through. People in my family have been up against the court system, job problems and enforced drug testing, etc. and it is beyond frustrating and humiliating! I wish your family the best as you work through this.Meowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05807600710251731849noreply@blogger.com