tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18440943.post3744190784764905268..comments2023-09-08T04:38:55.306-04:00Comments on The Heron Clan: How Things Are NowUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18440943.post-61818472065979215012010-12-18T20:50:04.906-05:002010-12-18T20:50:04.906-05:00Fair enough, it's your blog.
And I can see h...Fair enough, it's your blog. <br />And I can see how you took my post, it wasn't intended that way. <br /><br />If I can summarise ... when I was at my lowest, I broke things down into very basic facts. That's how I coped with it. <br /><br />I can see that what I wrote came across in a way I didn't intend, I'm sorry for that. <br /><br />Anyway, I did not mean to trash any of you and I do actually hope you can survive as a family. How you took my words-? well I can't do anything about that except state again that they were not meant in the way you took them. <br /><br />If you would like an email address I am happy to send it to you, I'm not remaining anonymous because of cowardice. I simply don't have any profiles on the net and couldn't be bothered creating one!<br /><br />still wishing you the best, I will not post again, I don't have the knack of expressing myself in a constructive way apparently :/<br /><br />BAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18440943.post-25445177607388331662010-12-18T19:44:58.326-05:002010-12-18T19:44:58.326-05:00Some of you may note that a number of anonymous co...Some of you may note that a number of anonymous comments have disappeared from this post's comments section. I deviated from our usual policy of not tolerating anonymous comments, and even responded to some (forgetting the old "don't try to teach pigs to sing" adage.) It is a policy I should never have deviated from.<br /><br />I am not going to debate whether I should be allowed to have the emotions I have, or if my emotions are correct or appropriate, on my own blog, with commenters who are too cowardly to even identify themselves (or anyone else for that matter.)<br /><br />Those of you who are advocating that I should somehow stop being so negative and just start healing, as though this was a matter of holding onto, and being unforgiving, of some past hurt are totally not understanding my/our circumstances. This is far from over. The courts have only begun their process. I am still potentially facing up to a year in prison, thousands of dollars in fines and court costs (which we don't have) on top of the $5000.00 we've already borrowed (with no hope of repayment) for attorneys, etc. A "favorable" outcome might entail years of probation and electronic monitoring also costing thousands of dollars and hugely limiting my/our lives. I am not able to even imagine a return to my career because having this on my record would prevent me from any position in my profession. All of this is in response to my making an unfortunate comment in an IM, swan's misunderstanding it and her not realizing that if one called 9-1-1 it would generate a police response.<br /><br />This, why don't you just move on, put this past you and heal," message is like encoutering a man in an ally 1/3 of the way through being beaten and mugged by a group of assailants and as they continue beating him, saying, "Why don't you just put this behind you and heal." It is so unrealistic, it defies any logic or sense.<br /><br />At any rate, my tolerance of comments by anonymous commenters telling me my feelings in all this are "wrong" is over.<br /><br />TomRaheretichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12893769601990341545noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18440943.post-62986427457454296342010-12-18T14:29:52.972-05:002010-12-18T14:29:52.972-05:00Generally, as a matter of policy here, we don'...Generally, as a matter of policy here, we don't tolerate comments from anonymous commenters. They are usually mean-spirited, specious, spam, and add nothing to the conversation other than harassment of anyone who engages in sincere conversation. These comments are generally summarily deleted without even being fully read. Occasionally we get an anonymous comment that is identified by some semblence of a signatory symbol. Such is the case with the comment by the anonymous commenter above identifying him/herself as 'B'.<br /><br />Rarer still, than our allowing anonymous comments to be archived here, are occasions when we honor them with some sort of response.<br /><br />The flagrancy of B's comment above in its irrationality and condescension makes failing to call attention to it too great a temptation to pass by.<br /><br />B you read in this post, "I have the holiday with no ability to feast, no ability to drink, unless I want to be immediately hauled off to jail, the first Christmas since my father died, the first Christmas since my daughter ended our relationship, and the first Christmas since I lost my career, and the first Christmas I have been unemployed in 43 years. Too, there is the stress and sadness surrounding t's Mom who has just entered hospice care, and whose future is at best unclear, as was our situation with my Dad last Christmas."<br /><br />In an amazing demonstration of inability to reason, you respond to this list of emotional challenges I/we face this next week with, "It is not right to put food and alcohol before your loved ones." Somehow out of what I wrote you have managed to glean that my issues are primarily about whehter or not I can feast or drink. This would not stand were it offered as a fourth grade English exercise.<br /><br />I have written here the last month and a half as a release. I find that when I am most upset I get some relief from seeing my thoughts and feelings written out here. I find too, that it works better for me to see them on our blog where I know others will see them. Writing them out for my eyes only, and then deleting them, doesn't seem to help me. I have come to expect that the vast majority of reactions to those by commenters to me will be derogatory and insulting. That has been the norm. By now I'd be surprised if it were otherwise. There have been a few of these from folks who I previously thought of as friends: friends who I have reached out to support and help during crises in their lives, to be responded to negatively now, that I have found hurtful......but quite frankly I am in enough pain, at this point, there is little additiional pain that even registers with me.<br /><br />This comment was so entirely ludicrously inane, illogical, and nonsensical, that I cannot resist shining light on it.<br /><br />B then goes on, with the facade of wanting good for us, to tell me that I lack the character to ever survive this (how very helpful!) and to suggest that we would be better off if t and s were to leave me.<br /><br />B I would never be as judgmental as you were of me. I don't need to be. You have clearly demonstrated both your character and intellect here for all to see and we will "honor" you by chronicling your input here permanently for all to see exactly who and what you are. Too bad you lacked the courage to really tell us who you are so you could claim full credit.<br /><br />TomRaheretichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12893769601990341545noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18440943.post-60504903775749418192010-12-18T09:03:50.835-05:002010-12-18T09:03:50.835-05:00I love you more than anything in the world. I have...I love you more than anything in the world. I have promised, repeatedly, that I will never dial 911 again. If you are injured, I will duck tape you and haul you to the hospital. If you have a heart attack, I will bundle you in the car with asprin, and drive like a madwoman to the hospital. We are never going to be what we were before but we can, together, work at being better than we were. <br /><br />I am so scared of losing you, Sue, and Mom, that I can hardly breath sometimes. You are my family. You mean everything to me. I am fighting hard for us, please fight with me. We are important and valuable. Together we can get thru this. We might need some outside help, and for every step forward, we take 2 steps back, but we will get there. I just know it. I know you think I am being a Pollyanna about all of this, but I HAVE to believe we are worth all of the work and love we have put into this relationship.<br /><br />I love you, Tom. I will do whatever it takes for us to remain "us". The 3 of us are worth it.<br /><br />Mores & Mores, TAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18440943.post-70185638967392805382010-12-18T06:14:57.800-05:002010-12-18T06:14:57.800-05:00At the risk of sounding very Polly Ann-ish... coul...At the risk of sounding very Polly Ann-ish... couldn't this Christmas be a beginning rather than an ending?<br /><br />I do not .. nor will I .. point out all the things you have to be grateful for.. You know them as well - if not better - than I do.<br /><br />I hope that one day - soon - you will come to recognize the love and support that surrounds you.morningstarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01500052225655763353noreply@blogger.com