The run up to "The Day" has commenced.
I've been on the phone pre-registering with the hospital and confirming insurance information and all that rigamarole. In the next few days, I'll be put through a variety of pre-operative tests and physical examinations to make sure that all the health-care providers and facilities have taken all the necessary steps to cover their proverbial asses against any potential catastrophe which may befall should they fuck this up in some significant fashion.
I understand the drill. Annoyance and aggravation added to insult and injury. OK. Fine.
I'm not here to grouse about that. Much.
What I am most hacked off about with all of this is the simple reality that all this poking and testing and peering at me over the next week exposes US to the potential of some medical professional noting a wayward bruise or area of broken skin, and then becoming suspicious of the origin of that marking. Suspicion of that nature can trigger a report of suspected abuse under the requirements of laws that designate physicians, and many other professionals (like social workers, therapists, and teachers) as "mandated reporters."
Because a doctor could see bruising resulting from a spanking and decide it might indicate that I am abused, we always avoid SM play that might result in any kind of marking prior to medical appointments. Logically, we know that the odds are against anyone seeing my butt in a routine pre-operative physical. However, the penalties, if we guess wrong and a doctor makes a report of suspected abuse are so potentially horrific, that we just can't afford to risk it. So we err on the side of caution, and abstain. For days ahead of the appointment. Days ahead of the surgery. And then, of course, there will come the days after...
All because our kind of loving leaves marks that the world doesn't understand. Or accept. Or approve of. Simply because the laws insist that I cannot consent to Him spanking me -- that what we do is "legally" assault, no matter how either of us feels about it.
And so, right now, when I most need His hand on me to steady and center me; to calm my fears and quiet my mind; to wipe out the shrieking fear for at least a bit of time... We dare not go there.
There are so many sex laws that need to be changed in this country. So many silly, antiquated, out-moded and out-dated notions that ought to be let go to fade into memory. Tonight though, I'd settle for just a simple change in just a single arena -- let go of the laws that make it impossible for me to tell my doctor that the bruises and marks I wear are not signs of abuse but badges that declare my free choice to love and live as a woman who knows who she is and what she wants...
Where is the wand-waving fairy godmother that could make that happen?
swan
jo and minionette -- the laws for mandated reporters are very specific here. I know that there are lists on line for "Kink Aware Professionals" who might be less likely to follow the law as closely, but the last time I looked, there were no physicians listed in the Cincinnati area. As to a paper stating "consent," there is really no way legally to consent to "abuse." And even Gloria Brame, who is one of the luminaries in the BDSM scene cautions people about being too specific about their activities in this realm with their doctors. The reality is, that as a "mandated reporter," I know that I don't have any legal discretion or any latitude for making a judgement in this realm. If I see evidence that makes me suspicious that abuse may be happening, it doesn't matter what I am told to the contrary, I am required, by law, to make the report. As the patient, client, or student, we cannot rely on the reporter choosing to break the law -- the penalties that accrue for that choice are way too severe for that to be a reasonable likelihood...
ReplyDeleteswan
i suppose it's an infringements on your rights (not to mention the rights of your partner) to have legal charges pressed without the consent of the "victim." but, much like the age of consent, there is a very good reason to have such a law, as i'm sure you recognize. in cases of actual abuse, a victim is very likely to claim that the abuse was consensual...much for the same reason that a victim is statistically more likely to fall into the arms of another abusive partner.
ReplyDeleteperhaps if the doctor were to notice some bruising and were to report it (as he could be sued or worse if he doesn't), there might be a psychological evaluation before any real charges could be pressed- really to make sure that you wouldn't be protecting a truly abusive person.