One of the great myths of BDSM is that power exchange eliminates friction in relationships. The story usually runs something like this: all you have to do is establish who is "in charge," and everything smooths right out and harmony and peace prevail. Almost always (especially in relationships where power exchange is introduced into formally "vanilla" partnerships -- or to individuals who had only been "vanilla" previously), this happy story is filled with glowing accounts of how the lust levels go way up and the romance flows back into things and life gets good, no better, than it ever was before.
Sometimes, that really is true. Variety is the spice of life after all, and we all know that some of this stuff is sexy as hell. Still, I'm gonna be honest here. There are days when power exchange notwithstanding, there is enough FRICTION around here to rub all my fur backwards. Grrrrr...
And, I know I am not the only one. I know because I have a few friends out there who every so often get right down and tell the truth of it -- kaya has been known to admit to those stray thoughts that begin with "If I were a normal wife..." There are other ones out there, I am sure of it. There just have to be.
I've been in one of those places in the last 24 hours or so. Don't get all crazy on me here, friends. We are not in crisis. I am just having a "moment." Nowadays, I can't even blame it on hormones. Maybe it is the kids at school, maybe it was the absolute idiocy of the drive home in the "blizzard" last night (left a grand total of 5" of snow) which put these idiot Cincinnati drivers in a nearly catatonic stupor on the roads, maybe it was my incipient migraine and the medication I took to head it off, maybe it is just the accumulated stress of these last weeks, maybe it is the conjunction of the planets, maybe it isn't anything at all... Whatever, in my head the insane, completely irrational babble goes like this:
- I hate this!
- Fuck it.
- Let someone else get beaten...
- Cpaps and humidifiers and coffee makers and ironing boards -- blech
- I want a weekend -- whine...
- Master is a pooh-head
- I want to move to Cancun!!!
- on and on and on and on and on and on and on
Oh Please! Even I know all of that is just nuts. Time to go take the freaking Christmas trees down.
swan
"Master is a pooh-head"
ReplyDelete*snicker*
That's just funny.
kaya
LMAO.. i agree with kaya.. pooh head?? i love it !!
ReplyDeleteand swan dear swan.. you know that we all - if we are honest - have days when we would like to take one good swing at HIM... just one.. and then throw the whole thing in.... but there is something that keeps us chained to the Man... something....
hugs to you
morningstar (owned by Warren)
Swan dear girl, we all have bad days. Even Doms have bad days, I can remember a few and if my Mel were alive she would regale you with a few stories.
ReplyDeleteThis too will pass.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
(happy dancing around the room)
ReplyDeleteShe took down my Tree!!
She took down my Tree!!
And put it in the box...and they shoveled the walks and driveways... and made me dinner... and drove the cats nuts... and... and... and...
It MUST be spring!! Soon I will be able to put away the "Winter" dishes and get out the "NORMAL" ones!!! Oh Joy! Oh Rapture!!!!
T, who is looking to mount a bazooka to the hood of the Elantra to be able to blast the bastards off the road so it doesn't take FOUR AND A HALF HOURS TO GET HOME when there is only 5 inches of snow on the ground and it normally only takes 35 minutes!!!!!!
Taking the Christmas tree down will definately make all well!
ReplyDeletebonorth
Dear Swan,
ReplyDeleteI guess I’ve followed you for about five years and, despite the fact that I question some of your positions, I am one of your greatest admirers.
The stuff you have written in your last few blogs are the best stuff you have ever done.
Jack
you are so not alone, swan! we've all had days like that and it's no fun. i'm hoping taking down the tree helped. :)
ReplyDeletewhen i was a teacher, one of our favorite books was, "alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day." ever read it? it's a classic.
and universal.
i'm hoping tomorrow feels better... and if not, you reach for whatever you need to make it better.
warmly,
faith
I have meditated on this poo head business and was suddenly enlightened.
ReplyDeleteYou are spending far too much time with sixth graders.
Jack
minionette... let me repeat... I just think it. I DO NOT say it! Gracious, woman. You have been too long away from your Grumblin.
ReplyDeleteswan
Oh, and Jack, anyone who spends anytime at all with me will tell you that I spend far too much time with young adolescents.
swan
Oh my gosh I get this post! I have even said the words to Master...."If I were your girlfriend....I wouldn't..." As you can image it didn't meet with good tidings!
ReplyDelete