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We are three adults living in a polyamorous triad family. The content here is intended for an adult audience. If you are not an adult, please leave now.


A Quiet Winter Season

These have been days wrapped around holidays, celebrations, and observances of the natural turning of the seasons.  As we've passed through the winter solstice,  Chanuka, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and approached the beginning of the new year, I have found myself not knowing what I might say.

I am aware that it is the custom to share greetings and good wishes of the season -- and I do.

I am aware that, culturally, this spate of winter festivals engenders a shared mood of joy and merriment, and that we really are all expected to join in the singing and gifting and feasting.  To hold oneself apart from all of that is seen as, well, Grinchy.

I am aware that, as we turn the calendars from December, 2011 to January, 2012, the sense of having a fresh start is compelling; that the making of resolutions is our traditional way of acknowledging the simultaneous acts of reviewing the year just past, and anticipating the year yet to come.

Day after day, I find myself looking at this blog, and wondering what it is that I can say about all of that to those who read here...

  • Would it be good to recount the pleasures of gifts given and received?  Surely, we have done that, and felt happy and amazed at the abundance of good things in our lives.
  • Would talking about the pleasant afternoon spent in the company of the youngest of our, now grown, children, convey how very special that one has come to be in the life of our family?
  • What about the bounty of holiday movies that we've been to see?  We've enjoyed a remarkable crop of intelligent, provocative, and thoroughly enjoyable films lately.
  • Does it make any sense to talk about the luxury of time together?  The days of the winter break from school have coincided with the time that T had off of work to recover from her surgery, and so we have had a rare space when we were under very few obligations outside our own little household.
  • Is it even possible to catalog or delineate the changes we are experiencing emotionally or "spiritually" or intellectually as we move, day by day, to live the life that is now ours?  I don't think so... not yet.

Our lives have become quiet.  The storms are, at least for now, moving off into the distance.  It is oddly still in our world.  We've learned not to look back at what was, and we are not inclined to look very far into the future either.  Small pleasures, and quiet joys, and fragile-seeming moments of laughter and happiness are treasures that we hold close.

It is as if we have come through a dense woodland into a small clearing.  The darkness and terror of the passage is still fresh in our memories, but the clearing is open and light, and it is less scary than what we've been through.  For now, we are content to hang onto one another, and we are reluctant to test the edges.  Life, here in the clearing, is gentler than the dark and twisting paths of the forest.  We are resting -- and we wish you seasons of gentleness and rest as well...



  1. I send all three of you nothing but best wishes for the upcoming year.


  2. It matters not if you are festive or grinchy, but I am always glad when you are present. For some reason, I feel compelled to keep checking on this family.

    I like the balance you expressed - not looking back, not looking forward, just living in the now. I hope you continue to be gentle with each other and find your way in the new year.


  3. I was happy to see this update today. To live in the now is something I have been striving for, also. Gentleness and peace...nice wishes, may you relish this time. abby

  4. I am also glad you posted today.
    I'm happy you have found some peace together.
    Gentleness and rest sound like perfect ways to start this or any new year.
    All the best to you all.

  5. Impish16:06 PM

    "We've learned not to look back at what was, and we are not inclined to look very far into the future either. Small pleasures, and quiet joys, and fragile-seeming moments of laughter and happiness are treasures that we hold close."
    It is our life as well, for other reasons. Perhaps it is a wiser way to live as we find how fragile life, heart and sanity are as we grow older and live more stressful lives.
    Happy New Year to you, all the family, and I do wish you the very best in the new year. You each deserve it, and I have no doubt that it will be a better year for us all.

  6. Hugs from us both,

    Ms160 and sol


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