Rumpelstiltskin

As the second anniversary date of His sobriety approaches, Tom has focused intently on the counting that is His way of grasping the passage of time.  Because 2012 was a leap year, it turns out that the mathematical calculation of two years (2 x 365 days) and the calendar date which would mark that life shift from two years ago, are not the same day.  As it happens, while the math might indicate that the 730 days that should need to pass for two years to have flowed along, the calendar tells us that the anniversary (January 18) falls on day 731.  Being Tom, He began campaigning, weeks ago, for TWO anniversary celebrations instead of just one.

Being Tom, He seemed to have a difficult time grasping the possibility of a "NO" regarding that idea.  He has been a total noodge about it, as a matter of fact.  Somewhere along the way, in the spirit of this new "switchy" model we've adopted, I declared that we could do two anniversary observances:  one day when we would spank Him 730 times, and one day when (according to the calendar), we could legitimately mark the passage of two years.  And so the game was joined.  We have bantered and teased back and forth, back and forth -- always with that number, 730, looming out there; making Him squirm and protest.  It has been great fun.

Over the weekend, we began that spanking event.  Over my knee, He got 200 swats, and I agreed that they could serve as the down payment on the BIG spanking event.  The good news, I told Him, was that there would only be 530 spanks to go.  :-D

He whined and wheedled and worked my last nerve trying to wriggle out of the whole business.  Finally, I made Him a bargain:  guess my confirmation name (that left over artifact of my Catholic upbringing), and I'd cancel the remaining 530 spanks.  My poor Tom, who was raised as a Presbyterian, was all at sea in the face of deciphering the panoply of Catholic saints' names.

I figured I had this one...  No way was He going to guess that arcane bit of personal lore.

Well, not to be deterred, He launched in, listing names one after the other:  Mary, Martha, Joan, Elizabeth, Anne, Rose, Gertrude, Bertha, Ruth...  On and on He went, and I just kept saying "no, no, no..."  Then, out of the blue, He said, "Louise?"  I was stunned -- so stunned, that He went right on listing more names as I tried to pick my jaw up off the floor.

"You got it!  How did You do that?"  He was, frankly, as surprised as I was, but not so surprised that He hesitated even a minute before gloating:  "No spankings for me!  I am looked over by the patron saint of getting away with stuff!"

He does that "picking things out of the air" thing way too often for it to be coincidence.  It is a little freaky -- or maybe a LOT freaky.  Whatever.  There will be no "anniversary" spanking for Him tomorrow.  Unless, of course, He decides He really wants one ;-)

swan