Having said hello after a ten year posting hiatus, I will discuss why I might write here again,

Anyone who has spent even a modest effort to read about adults who choose, whatever their motivation, to agree to spank each other finds a wealth of Internet content dedicated to this topic. These discussions may be primarily prurient, or research-based. or fictional, or pictorial, or even humorous in their focus.  Whether you are new to this topic, are quite experienced, are interested in learning about it as an academic interest, are struggling to understand the role a persistent nagging interest in spanking has in your sensual erotic orientation, or are just a poor hapless Internet pilgrim who has found your way here through serendipity or mishap, you may find reading here enlightening or a giant bore.  If the latter is the case, run for your life, leave here, and seek a more compatible source of stimulation. If on the other hand, you are inquisitive, or perhaps you identify with such labels as Dominant, or submissive, switch, slave, or Head of Household, or sadist, or masochist, or taken in hand, or Top, bottom, spanker or spankee, spanking fetishist, therapist, spanking devotee, disciplinarian, or are simply sensually or erotically adventurous, you might find something here worth your time and interest.

I hope to explore and discuss the ways many adults incorporate adult consensual spanking into their lives. For many of us spanking becomes a primary source of connection, stimulation, excitement, drama,  intimacy, and fun.  Whether any, or all, of these motivations lead you to agree to partner with others around spanking, or this topic is simply an interest, you might find reading here interesting.

I am a man, well into the seventh decade of life. I have graduate level education as a counseling psychologist.  Much more usefully, I have about forty years life experience studying, practicing, and learning about the arena many refer to as BDSM, or my more specific orientation: adult consensual erotic and or disciplinary spanking.  Since my very earliest conscious awareness  I have had an obsessive desire to participate in spanking. Early on I was embarrassed I felt this way.  I realized not everyone had this need. Growing up in the mid-1950's U.S., spanking was everywhere: in homes, in school, in church, in magazines, in literature, on the then cool new medium- television, on radio, and in newspapers.  Heck if you were misbehaving kid, playing in the neighborhood, it was not at all uncommon that a neighboring parent of another kid might just decide to spank you.  So it was not strange to be aware of it.  In fact one would have needed to be deaf and blind to not be continually bombarded with spanking stimuli.  In my family spanking was a sacred and almost a pious practice as necessary and important as attending school, or church, or eating everything on your plate to growing successfully to adulthood.  There were times I was spanked simply because I had not been spanked in a while. Like bathing, it was not good for children to go too long without a spanking.  My experience was not unique from my peers. At times friends of mine and I would agree to spank each other as a childish role play (perhaps even mildly erotic play)  but those events were few and insignificant. As I progressed into adolescence, sexual awakening, specifically interest in spanking girls, women absorbed a great deal of my attention.  When I masturbated I was dreaming of administering spankings.  I found friends who shared my interest.  There was a guy who lived across the street from me with whom I exchanged the rare story or pic from a men's pulp magazine, or a Playboy fold-out focused on a woman's ass that just riveted us.  But as I aged I became worried.  I could not imagine a relationship with a woman without spanking her, yet how could I, an educated, ethical, empathic, caring person who was interested in caring for people and facilitating their development, a social activist, a feminist, have as my primary erotic urge: spanking.....the infliction of pain and submission on those for whom I cared.  What was WRONG WITH ME?????

I’ve spent about forty-five years learning first that while my orientation is not mainstream or average, I am not alone, and I am not mentally ill for having it.  I have worked to improve technique, grow relationship skills, and refine values and philosophy in my adult consensual spanking practice.  I’ve grown in depth relationships that are the love of a lifetime, to much more casual experiences with friends who wanted to explore, experience, or be mentored.  I’ve known partners who wanted to have spanking  therapeutic or disciplinary mentoring.

I have learned practice that is good for me. I continue to learn and evolve.  I am not “the” expert.  There are some who have less knowledge content than I.  What I have, is what seems right for me……..today.  

I love writing about ,discussing ,and learning about this subject.  I like meeting those who share this interest.  I want a place to express my experience.

I hope to do so here.  If I write things no one else chooses to read, so be it.  If you find something here of value or interest that will be icing on my cake.

Tom the Heretic