So, when He said, "I think we'll put you in the stocks for your spanking this morning," my stomach dropped to my feet and my breath whooshed out of my lungs as my blood pounded in my ears. For a few minutes, I just held on to Him, trying to settle myself down -- not saying anything, just wanting to get hold of the solidity of His physical presence to try and anchor my rushing emotions.
He didn't let that go on very long, and it was off to the stocks in short order. Probably that was a good thing. I imagine, that, left too long in my head, I'd have worked myself into a full on panic.
It is never easy getting into the stocks. Today, it seemed particularly difficult. Somehow, my wrists wouldn't fit in the appropriate holes without rubbing and pinching. They just hurt. From start to finish. He did adjust it and it was some better, but not great. Enough better that I was able to calm down and settle in for the session. Wood is just not at all forgiving. It clamps down and that is IT.
He knows that I struggle, and He started carefully with me, giving me the gift of a warm up hand spanking. Just the physical contact helped me. I can't see Him once I'm in the stocks, and He's not a big talker in session, so I can end up feeling alone and isolated. Knowing all of that, He really did go to great length
s to guide me through this one...I'm not sure which implements He used. I think there may have been a crop and a strap. I know that He used a paddle and the rubber flogger. I know I cried and begged and eventually just simply declared that it was hurting my hands... I know that I asked, at one point, how long I had to stay there, and He told me that I had to stay until my spanking was done. No comfort there.
In the
end, when I was completely "done." I had to hang in long enough for Him to take a couple of pictures (I hope you are happy, Jack). He took two, but only one is very clear. Trust me, it wasn't the subject that was moving...swan
Actually i am rather glad you posted the pictures swan.... now i can 'see' the position you have to be in.. and all i could think was.. that has gotta be uncomfortable!!!
ReplyDeleteis it any better now that you have been in the stocks?? the talking in your head.. the fear i mean??
morningstar (owned by Warren)
Heh. Leather ass. That's what I call the white results that we all get now instead of pretty blue and purple bruises.
ReplyDeleteNot that the white isn't pretty too. It is. :)
I do hope it's made things better for you. Spanking has to be better than sleeping in them.
kaya
Oh you do make me smile sweety...that very last line would have guaranteed me a return visit sometime very soon!!
ReplyDeleteA 'blanket store' eh?....now... could we do with one of those?? *G*
love and hugs to you all xxx
Dear Swan,
ReplyDeleteI Thoroughly enjoyed your pictures. The stalks look both evil and intimidating but marvellously efficient.
Don’t blame me for the spanking; it was your idea.
It put me in mind of some ‘after’ pictures you posted a few years ago. One, I think, was of you; the other was of a person who had wanted to join your clan. Tom had taken her aside for a little ‘initiation’. I scoured your archives but hyperspace seems to have swallowed them up.
If memory serves, the marks left on both bottoms were far more vivid and distinct than the cheerful red glow achieved by this most recent effort. - Is Tom growing soft in his old age? ROFL
I relate to the terror you feel at the prospects of being whipped. Personally, I have never endured a spanking that didn’t stop when I felt I had had enough. I am both horrified and fascinated by the thought of being tied in place and receiving serious punishment from a determined disciplinarian. I am sure that I would not want to soon repeat the fault or misdemeanour that would result in a repeat performance.
I think I could endure serious punishment if it was for just cause or “for my own good” but I can’t imagine enduring it just because someone gets their jollies by whaling away on my poor ass. Getting it for the erotic stimulation of both parties is an entirely different matter.
I have noted that when you mention about you or T whipping Tom it is always for cause. (I recall a vague reference to T spanking Tom for being ‘naughty’ and of a time, early on, when you took the cane to him on several occasions, in an unsuccessful effort to cut down on his drinking.)
I am not a ‘bad’ man but I feel I would be a far better person, had a woman whom I trusted and admired and who wouldn’t hesitate to administer corporal punishment when she felt I deserved it, taken me in hand.
Jack
I think, I may be better about them. This was difficult, but then the first trip back to this was bound to be difficult.
ReplyDeleteI wandered back the next afternoon, just to check out the wrist issue, and found that I could turn my wrists the other direction and have no problem at all... Of course.
I think I could, maybe work my way into some "ease" with this if not comfort. Probably never comfort. But perhaps a level of acceptance that would forestall the panic.
swan
I do hate to praise you, because I know you must get tired of everyone telling you how wonderful you are.
ReplyDeleteFair’s fair, however, and I have to comment on how brave you are.
This stocks bit is something that, clearly, scares you. Unlike most of us, you stand up and face your fears and, in doing so, put them in perspective.
I wish I had your guts.
Wonder if you brought a small sheet of lambs wool blanketing , cut it into strips and glued them to the gripping points it wouldn’t reduce the pressure on your wrists and ankles.
Hope you didn’t mind my teasing you a bit about Tom going soft in his old age.
Jack
Okay - you used to be one of the ones I didn't worry about if Master read your writings...those days are gone...le sigh even...
ReplyDeletelol
Caitlin
Well, Caitlin -- I'm sorry. I can't help where my silly head goes. I suppose you could simply delete your link to me. Would that help?
ReplyDeleteswan
Jack -- Thank you, for the praise. I know, coming from you, that it is not given lightly (as you seem to believe that I swim in the stuff).
ReplyDeleteIt may surprise you to know that I do not feel "brave" at all these days. I actually felt quite "stung" by your comment as to how soft Master has gotten with me. I know exactly how far He has backed off from the way things used to be. I know that He does that out of love and concern for my well-being -- I am simply not as sturdy as I once was (physically or emotionally), and He accomodates that because He loves me and because He chooses to shift our play rather than do me harm. I am particularly "sensitive" when the comparison is made to the "other one" who once played at such a high end with Him. The fact that she is a "long gone" memory, doesn't make it any less difficult for me to handle the recognition of the differences that were real in the event.
So, yes, I continue to work my way along with my promises, my needs, and my fears. And, yes, you did land a stinging blow on some pretty tender places.
swan
Ummm no ma'am...it would not help as He has his own list of favorites..besides...I rather enjoy your corner of the world.
ReplyDeletecaitlin
Its four in the morning and I have just been wakened from a deep sleep to nurse my wife. She is always in a great deal of pain and it takes a long while bent over double, lifting and shoving, then lifting and shoving her poor body into a position that she finds tolerable. It’s difficult because an infinitesimal shift of a knee, heel, or ankle makes a tremendous difference to her.
ReplyDeleteAll this time I have been thinking of the pain my thoughtless remarks caused you. I could try to explain but my excuses would only enrage you. I could try to apologise but my words would only upset you.
It’s hard to build a bond with someone you never meet. A person whose values seem the same as your own but whose lifestyle is completely removed from your own sense of reality.
We talk about cultural shock when we have to come to grips with living and sharing with others who are foreign to our own way of life.
These associations/friendships, although painful at times, help us grow.
Sorry I hurt you! I will try to be less inquisitive and callous in the future.
Jack