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We are three adults living in a polyamorous triad family. The content here is intended for an adult audience. If you are not an adult, please leave now.


What Is a Community?

When I first started writing blog posts, some ten years ago, I was mostly hoping to find others to talk to; people who were "like me," that might understand what I was trying to learn and do and be.  In time, I came to feel like the people that I "met" through the comments written here, and the comments I was able to leave other places, were a community of like-minded others, and sometimes, even friends. 
Communities are, by nature, distinctive.  One community is not like another.  Communities know what they are about.  The members recognize each other, and community members know who is not part. A social community, like this one in which we all participate, is one in which people are invited to come together online to learn, educate, mentor and discover more about themselves, and one another.  As most of us have learned over the years, our community works best when our interactions are easy, when we communicate in ways that make sense, when each of us feel secure and welcomed.
I've learned to value that community, and I have come to the point where I am unwilling to continue to struggle with the question of what to do about those who sometimes come here, uninvited, and impinge on what we have here.  From my perspective, members of MY community, have shared my journey; they know my story; they've walked this road with me, and they have been steadfast companions.  Companions, community members, don't snipe.  They don't make off the cuff judgments.  They don't take sides.  They don't insist on some sort of retribution for perceived wrongs that have nothing to do with them.  Companions, friends, listen carefully.  They sit with one another.  They stay for the good times and the bad times, and there is never any doubt that a friend will be there no matter what.
That's the criteria for me.  From now on.  This blog is a place that belongs to me; a place that I share with those of you who choose to be part of my little community.  You know who you are.
Anyone else, those who are uninvited, are not welcome.  I will know you by your actions, by your words.  If there is any hint in what you come here to say, that you are "not a friend," I will remove all traces of your presence.  I will guard and protect this place.  I will preserve this small corner of the cyber world for myself, and those who choose to be here with me.


  1. This is your online home...we only welcome our friends into our homes...i get it.
    hugs abby

  2. Abby, you have always been one of those who "get it." Thank you. I've struggled for too long trying to figure out what to do about the trolls who seem to think that they have some "right" to be hateful on this blog. I am clear that people have the right to think whatever they want to think. I am aware that not everyone likes me or mine; that there are those who do not agree with me much of the time. I am fine with that. I just am not interested in hearing it. Those folks are welcome to read and move along. Negative and judgmental garbage, however, ought to be posted to THEIR blogs. Not mine.

  3. Sue I am so sorry you have such mean spirited people rocking your boat .... do what you have to to protect your online home!!

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  5. Thank you for sharing your part of cyber world with me. It can be a pain when you are battling trolls. Most of the time, I do think it's worth continuing to blog, because I value the community and the friendships.


  6. Sue, I love visiting you and hearing your wisdom - long may you welcome us in and ignore those who only visit to cause distress and upset. I love the community you have here and I love that you and some of your community come into mine.

  7. Yeah. I am fortunate in not getting trolls. Perhaps it's because those few who happen to read my blog can't understand what I'm on about or just think it's silly nonsense! I did get anonymous spam, harmless but irritating, so I've arranged No anonymous comments.
    What I mostly think when I read this post and others in a similar vein, is: Exactly what do these trolls say that's so offensive?

  8. Trolls come in all flavors. None are well meaning. The troll intends to be mean, to spew hatred, to stir up trouble, or to in some other way, create harm.

  9. Remember your Tolkein, trolls turn to stone in the light. You are one of the lights in this community.


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