Yes, it has been about a year since my last "Safety Post". And many of you have heard my tale, but there are newbies lurking out there that need to be careful, too.
About 14-ish years ago I thought I was invincible. I could play with strangers and nobody would cause me harm unless I asked for it. Boy, was I wrong!
I "met" the "Dom of my Dreams" online. We chatted alot and of course we were practically "soul-mates"...because I was being stupid and believed all the lies. Finally we planned to meet. He came to town and got a motel room and I got all gussied up and blindly went off to meet my future MONSTER.
He met me at the door with a gun. He tied me down and did whatever in the hell he wanted for hours and then untied me and left to get something somewhere. I got dressed and drove like a maniac away and to the safety of my home. I never called the police because I was too ashamed and didn't want to explain my stupidity to cops. But later, online, I found 3 other women who had encounters with the FREAK. And, amazingly enough, their stories were identical to mine.
I made it my mission to warn people about people. Not only are women susceptible to "The Stupids", men can fall prey as well. So here is the list:
1) If you are going to meet a stranger to play, make sure you have a copy of their driver's license and have given that to your SAFE CALL.
2) Make sure your SAFE CALL has your car description, license plate number, and the location of where you will be playing.
3) Have a friend in the lifestyle as a SAFE CALL. Setup a signal so, when you call to check in at pre-determined times, they will know if you are alright. Don't make it "I am alright". Make it a word or phrase that your SAFE CALL will know as the emergency call so they can call the police and get you help.
4) Setup a specific time to contact your SAFE CALL. Do not get so involved in your play that you forget to call at the appointed time. Your SAFE CALL should call the police and give all appropriate information so you are found. It is better to be found in a compromising situation than to be found dead.
5) DO NOT pick a SAFE CALL who would be concerned about embarrassing you if you fail to call at the appointed time. You want someone who cares about your welfare.
I was a safe call for a good friend, after Tom and I started dating. She was having a stranger over for dinner and play. We setup a time. The time came and went and within 5 minutes I had called the police, given them my friend's location, information, and the description and license number of her dinner guest. Thirty minutes after the safe call time had passed, we got an embarrassed call from our friend....THANKING US for caring about her, but she was fine. She gave the safe word and explained that they were having so much fun cooking dinner together, that the time got away from her.
So play safe. Take care of each other.