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We are three adults living in a polyamorous triad family. The content here is intended for an adult audience. If you are not an adult, please leave now.


Doing the Impossible

If it is not obvious to all who have been with us for any amount of time, things are not exactly sailing along smoothly for The Heron Clan.  Somedays, I think we are better than we were -- and then something happens to remind me how very far we have yet to go to reach anything that would qualify as good.  So, consider that to be the disclaimer ... or whatever you want to call it.

Every now and then, when I get clear about how many people have turned aside, quit reading us, run out of patience with our stumbles and our battles and our messiness, I really have to work to quell the urge to point out that "while we fell on our faces pretty spectacularly back there, we were (after all) trying to do some pretty challenging stuff in relationship terms.  I could talk and talk and talk about that, trying to explain or excuse our failings, and when it was all done, no one would care anyway.  I know all of that, but the urge remains...  Hence, the Faulkner quote added to our header today...

Astronaut Neil Armstrong, as he toured around the country giving motivational talks, would talk about all the many times that NASA engineers came up against seemingly insurmountable problems:

He said that in the years of research, innovation, and testing that led up to his first footstep on the moon, there were many times that NASA engineers and scientists would reach an impossible roadblock. During these times they would say, "We will have to halt the mission. There is no scientific solution to this problem." Or, "We have tried everything imaginable to solve this problem and we can't solve it."He went on to say that every time NASA's best thinkers and scientists reached an impossible roadblock, they were told, "We are going to the moon." And every time they would look at each other and say, " it," and then they would try again and again. Soon, they would have a solution that worked. He said this happened many times, and each time the impossible turned out to be possible once they were reminded of the impossible mission they were on.
So, I have added Faulkner's words to our blog header, and I want to leave this post here to remind me, and maybe even, remind us, that while we have been far from perfect, we have struggled mightily to do what very few others have even tried.  We have forged bonds of love and family when the society around us insisted that it was impossible and wrong to even try it.  We have made our homes a place of comfort; a retreat from the daily strains of living as exiles in the world that is ours.  We have been true to our vision, even when we were flat on our faces in the mud.  We have held to our dreams while acknowledging that the dreams we dreamed might be too big for us to bring into reality.  We have protected and sheltered the framework of our life together, knowing that we cannot fully live it just now, and still dedicated to the potential that it might yet rise up and live in us and for us.
If we did not manage to do the impossible, then by my lights, we were splendid in out failing.  And I will insist that if we were capable of being splendid at that, then we may yet be splendid in achieving the impossible.  I will honor the impossible life we are trying to live, and so I will keep on trying, hoping and believing in the possibilities I cannot yet quite figure out.



  1. I just finished reading Robert Heinlein's "A Stranger in a Strange Land." It's idealistic science fiction, but if you have not read it, I recommend it as being germane to your way of life. You might even get some encouragement from it.

  2. "We have done the impossible, and that makes us mighty."

    One could even say giving it a darn good trying-at makes you pretty close.

  3. weirdgirl9:00 AM

    you have my admiration for all you have achieved, and continue to achieve - the three of you, together. you are indeed, mighty.

    kind regards

  4. Impish110:24 AM

    I think that's ongoing struggle to find our way. I do think the road analogy fits well: sometimes uphill, sometimes down, the level path, all fits for me. Don't include me in the group that left. I'm on a prolonged uphill portion of the road, and so am absent more than I'm here, but my kind thoughts remain with you.

  5. Do not estimate how much of an inspiration you are to have hung in there, against mighty big odds...and come through as you have....that is a mighty accomplishment!
    hugs abby

  6. Anonymous8:53 PM

    It might not be the 'perfect' life you dreamed of, but you, Teresa and Tom have achieved much together. You didn't throw in the towel and say bye, you and teresa worked through Tom's problem, and sought spiritual answers to help solve the problems/questions your triad faced. A splendid triumph...not a "splendid failure".

    Take care

  7. I tend to think that the readers who can't stick with me through the bad times, don't deserve to witness the good ones.
    In any case, I don't think that faking perfection does a service to bloggers or their readers.
    It's life and it's ours. That's what makes our moments special even when they are difficult.

    1. very great of your blogs nice You can get your nose trauma, sports, and must not begin before diving 2.aydan. Exactly fit the shape of the nose will be the average 3-6 months burun estetigi


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