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We are three adults living in a polyamorous triad family. The content here is intended for an adult audience. If you are not an adult, please leave now.

12/27/2013

Voicing the Crone

The new year approaches, and I look back and know how quiet this place has become. I've been mostly silent here as I have waited to know what it was that I might actually want or need to say.

What was, in the beginning, a "sex blog," of sorts is not that anymore.  The inevitable slide into aging is well begun for me, and the truth is that there is little that is sexy about growing older.  There is, perhaps, wisdom of a sort, but nothing juicy or sloppy as there might once have been.

I worried about the descent into crone-hood as I struggled in the weeks and months after my hysterectomy.  That was eight years ago, and I live more easily with the body I was given in the surgical suite that day.  It doesn't bring me ecstatic, orgasmic, eye-popping moments of wonder anymore (at least not very often), and I'd be lying if I claimed to be happy about that shift, but that might have come to pass in these years anyway.  The passage from fertile, sexy, vibrant woman to dry, seasoned, lined, and brittle old woman has little to recommend it, from my perspective.  Still there is no avoiding the inevitability of it.  We live.  We age.  We die.

I am not dead yet.  But this is no longer a "sex blog."  I am not willing, any longer, to put myself and my family here on display.  We are here and together and as fine as may be, but what is revealed in the archives here is part of our history and not part of our present.  I do not believe that my loves still read here, and I am quite sure that they will not write here anymore, much as I might wish otherwise.  So this place falls to me.  That being the reality, I want to retake this space for myself.  There are things that I think, and words that I would write, given space to do that.  And so, the new year will be my time to begin voicing the Crone.

Sue


4 comments:

  1. I admit, years ago i came for the sex, but I stayed to listen to you. I look forward to the year ahead.

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  2. I feel the same as Little Monkey. I am interested to hear what you have to say.

    (I worried you were going to say you were leaving - I'm very glad you aren't going - I think you'll always have things I want to hear)

    -sin

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  3. I would still write...just haven't had much to say or add....sorry

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  4. I've always come to read about you and the family. The dynamics, how things evolve and change, not the sex. Our life has changed so much too since we started out.. and I'd never guess I'd be where I am with Paladin now. Life is the journey past the different phases of our life Sue.. and everything that you want and need to say - has a home here. Smiles.. thanks for letting us in to share it with you.
    hugs,
    Mystress

    ReplyDelete

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