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We are three adults living in a polyamorous triad family. The content here is intended for an adult audience. If you are not an adult, please leave now.


A Question for Question and Answer Month

It has become the custom in our corner of the blogging universe that March is the month when we blogging types open up for "Questions and Answers."  I have never, once, taken this blog into the "question and answer" business -- and I'm not entirely sure that this is the year to break that pattern...

But here's the thing.  We (well, actually, mostly I) have been writing this blog (and The Swan's Heart) for a very long time -- since the end of 2004.  It feels, to me, like just about everything that could possibly be said about us has been said -- sometimes over and over and over.  Many of you have sat with us through the trials and tribulations of the years -- surgeries and illnesses and death and loss and addiction and codependency and despair and recovery.  From my whining and angst over BDSM, and polyamory, and waning sexual responsiveness, and masochistic wimpiness, to stories about who sleeps where and how far we walk when we walk -- from the funny to the sad to the absolutely crazy parts of our lives, it has all been poured out here.  If you've read along the way, you know us really pretty well.  We've been known to say that "you know us better than our own mothers do... or our kids... or just about anyone else."

And... we are not youngsters anymore.  Well, we weren't youngsters when we started all of this, if you want to know the truth.  I'm 58 years old.  T is younger than me (as I'm sure she would be happy to tell you), and He is some older.  Age is a thing.  Age is a very real thing.  I have wrinkles and scars and saggy places -- and the hairs that I hide with color from a box are graying.  I don't have the same energy or stamina as when I was younger.  I get tired.  I won't speak for T and Tom -- but I'm pretty sure that the two of them are able to give you their own lists of "aging" complaints.

So, I wonder ... Is there anything at all that you want to know about us and our lives together?  What can we say that you haven't heard before?  What are you curious about?  I am fresh out of ideas for things to tell you about us, but maybe I've missed something?

I am not promising to answer "anything and everything."  I'll do my best.  I do promise that.  But, if you hit a tender place, we'll probably just politely decline to go there.  And, I tend to resist anything that sets up a "guru" thing.  I don't have any answers for anyone else.  If you want advice about how to do TTWD, there are people who do that sort of thing -- but I'm likely to just tell you to talk with your partner, and try to make each other happy...

So, with all of those caveats, is there anything you would like to know?



  1. I think it's amazing the way you've continued blogging through all these years, in an area of the blogosphere where people crop up and can disappear so quickly. I've been a sporadic writer of journals all my life (since I was 11 or so). I've only been reading here for about two years, sorry to say I haven't pored back through your archives so it's possible you've already written an answer there.

    SO - my question is - have you always journaled? If yes, do you attribute the long life of your blog, your continued interest in posting here, to that? Or does blogging fill a need for an outlet, or...?

  2. After a couple of years of reading this blog (I'll admit, I've only glanced at the others), I feel like though I know quite a bit about the trials and tribulations that you've gone through, I know very little about you. I know you teach, I know a little about your family, certainly about your BDSM interests and polyamory, but what else? What are your hobbies? What would you do with an entire day all to yourself, without any household stuff to do, with our without Tom? Is there anywhere you would like to go in your remaining years?

  3. Ordalie11:47 PM

    I seem to remember you live in Cincinnati. Do you enjoy living there? Where else would you like to live? Don't you miss the proximity of the sea?

  4. weirdgirl4:59 AM

    swan, you are always so eloquent and have such a wonderful grasp of language, I am curious to know which books (if any) you consider inspirational in terms of your education (both personal and professional)

    many thanks if you choose to answer, and kindest regards even if you do not ;)


  5. Why the heron? Beautiful water bird.... but I often (change that: sometimes) wonder why it was chosen as your moniker?

  6. Waves hi !

    Swan, Tom and T,

    No question but a comment or remark...just wanted to let all three of you (T should post more :) ) how much and how greatly mouse appreciates your candor and honesty you put out there on this blog. Swan is an inspiration to mouse.

    Thank you all so very much for all you share...



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