“Never regret thy fall,
O Icarus of the fearless flight
For the greatest tragedy of them all
Is never to feel the burning light.”
~~ Oscar Wilde
Tom has taken to saying that we are experiencing a season of Old Relationship Energy -- ORE. It seems to be an emotional habitat comprised of feelings of warmth, security, comfort, gratitude, and long-lasting love. We are living in a space where we feel just amazed at our great good luck to have one another; to still be here in this place and this time, and still together. We snuggle a lot these days. We sit together and hold hands while we watch TV. We play and spank, back and forth in our currently nebulous and highly variable power dynamic. We chat online whenever we can during my work day. We smile at each other like giddy kids in the first blush of love. We share kisses, sometimes stolen as if they were forbidden. We walk and talk … and talk and talk and talk. We have finally healed from the hurts of our struggles and come to a shared awareness of and empathy for one another’s various and evocative scars. It really is like waking up after a bad, bad dream, and finding the one you love above everything standing there smiling at you. It is an enormous comfort.
The truth is that we have aged. We are older and, perhaps, wiser. We know how absolutely mortal we are, and how close we, like Icarus, flew to the sun. We got our wings singed. Seriously. And, we are still here, still in love, still able to live the story and tell about it. It is a joy and a wonderment and an absolute amazement. Perhaps, along with our heron, we will need to add a phoenix to our cast of bird totems.