She Is Gone....

If you have been following, you know what our weekend has been like. We have spent every waking moment at the bedside of Tom's dying Mother and bolstering his aging Father. Tom and I left her this morning at 1 am and she was resting in a drug-induced fog. Oblivious to all.

This morning Swan had to go back to her kiddos and teach. HE shoved her off at "O-dark-thirty". That is what Swan calls it. I call it "The butt-crack of dawn". HE read his email, gathered Himself to go to work. I was off today, and prepared to do battle with the Sears Repair Weasel. Our ancient washer croaked on Tom's Mom's last load of laundry on Saturday..... somehow fitting, we think. So I was waiting for the repair to be done. Tom was going to go peek in on Mom on his way to his first meeting....and he never left her. She was failing. She was worse. He wanted to know if the "Weasels" had arrived yet (they hadn't). He said he would call me back. And in about 10 minutes the phone rang and it was Swan checking in. I told her the deal and she said "I will get this place covered. I am on my way home. Where do you need me?" So she got a sub. and came to wait for the Sears Weasel. And I ran and got Tom's Dad and gently dragged him from his lunch with the "boys" (90 years + they were, too!). I got him there, as Swan arrived (Weasels were done and it was a simple repair) and she met us at the car. She walked him in and I parked. We all got to the room together, Dad sat beside his beloved wife, took her hand "I'm here, B---. I love you very much." And with that, she took her last breath.

I told you she was strong. I told you she was fiesty. She was just waiting until we were all together so we could take care of each other.

An Alzheimer's ward is a special place. Even though most of those folks do not know the year or who is President.... they are a family. And when things are "off", they are all "off". Swan told you about our friend "E" who is a retired minister. Last night the staff put him to bed, but he fussed until they got him up and back into his wheelchair. He paced the hall all night. Back and forth in front of Mom's room. He was still pacing when Tom and I left last night. Today, Swan and I went to him and told him about her passing. We thanked him for his friendship and caring for Mom and how much we felt like he was a part of our family. He stopped eating his pureed lunch and was still for a moment, then went back to eating. Later he came to us in the hallway and silently sat with the family. The Vitas minister saw him and went to him and thanked him for his ministry and told him that no matter what the condition, it is always a minister's job to watch over his flock and that "E" had done a good job watching over Mom.

Later another resident came to Mom's doorway, as we were getting ready to leave. We told her she could come in. She stepped in, looked at Mom, closed her eyes in prayer. What gentle souls these delightful people have. And how much we can learn if we just take the time to reach out to them.

For those of you who have already extended you love and concern....we thank you from the bottoms of all of our hearts. The next few days will be pretty full in our household and we might not be around. But know this.... we appreciate each and every one of you.

Now, go hug your families...dammit!

T