Golly, I might not be the writer Swan is, but I can respond to some of the comments over her last post.
We are all in this for the long haul. We are trying to find a way, within AA, to make the system work. We are being told "God, as you know Him" and then told that doesn't really mean a religious "God".... our "God" can be the group, a coffee cup, whatever works for us. We usually keep our mouths shut about our spirituality, but when others in our groups express concerns, and their concerns are pushed aside, I feel, that person needs some support and to know that they are not alone in their concerns. Having the trainer treat us as if our concerns about the excessive religiosity are not important, is like someone telling me that I have no value as a person and maybe I should just "check out". After the trainer stomped out of the class and we went to break, almost the entire class came to me and said they felt just like we did, but it was either their first class, or they were too new to express their concerns. They wanted to know they appreciated my standing up. And one older woman came to me in the restroom and hugged me. She is not a very physical woman, appears closed off in class, but she just hugged me and said "I support you all the way, we feel exactly the same".
This is an intensive rehab program of 6 weeks. Tom goes 3 days/nights a week, 3 hours a day and Swan & I go 2 nights a week for 3 hours an evening. We do not have the luxury of walking away, we are all fighting for our survival as a family and trying to maintain the court's requirements. I work 50 hours a week and when I add 6 additional class hours as well as 1 AA/NA meeting weekly, I am exhausted by the weekend. Once this 6 weeks is over, Tom will go 2 hours a week to continuing care and Swan and I will go 2 hours a month for continuing care. Until we get to the "Continued Care" portion of this program, I do not see where I can reasonably fit any Al-Anon meetings in my life without jeopardizing my health.
And regarding Al-Anon, I have issues about that too. My brother went through a recovery program 23 yrs ago. I helped as much as I could and attended 2 different Al-Anon meetings at 2 different locations. I found them to be a bunch of bitter, pissed off people who spent each meeting ranting and railing about their family member's drunken need to ruin THEIR lives. There was no education, there was no support - save the nods of agreement at each rant, there was nothing there that caused me to think it would help me help my brother's and my family's recovery. So you can see that I am taking the suggestions of Al-Anon with more than a single grain of salt.
I will try to find a meeting that works, because I am in this for all of us, but that will wait for at least a few more weeks. I need to get through the intensive part of recovery first.
And starting Tuesday, I start dealing with the probate issues of my Mom's estate. I have to say, I thought it would not be hard handling the legal aspects of Mom's death, but each and ever day sucks even more than the last. I go to her house every Sunday and do a little more, but it never seems to be enough.
For those of you who have been supportive of my family, I appreciate that support more than you can imagine. And for those of you who are not, I thank you to be more gentle with my family. We are all just doing the best we can.