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We are three adults living in a polyamorous triad family. The content here is intended for an adult audience. If you are not an adult, please leave now.


Shock and Sadness

We had sad news yesterday.  A man that helped Master during the most difficult of our difficult days -- helped in ways that were way beyond what anyone might have expected; helped in ways that may have been life saving; helped in ways that seemed to us to be mysterious and wondrous and awe-inspiring -- has succumbed to the siren call of his drug addiction.  He overdosed just a few days ago and very nearly died.   He barely survived, but is alive and back in jail, in solitary, awaiting a new court date and facing almost certain long term imprisonment.

We are full of questions that all seem to boil down to "why?"  We are shocked that this man who was such a gift to us when we so needed him could have done such harm to his own life and future.  We are hurt and saddened -- not surprised but still a bit caught off guard by this turn of events.  It seems such a waste of a promising future...

Master will go tomorrow morning to visit him; to be there with him in the very limited way that is available; to give him the only thing we can give him at this point -- a familiar and friendly face.  How does one shake this sense of wanting to turn back the clock?



  1. I'm so sorry to hear this. Its always stirs up difficult emotions to be faced with the human frailties of those we've come to know and care about. I am sure Tom's visit will be a comfort.

    love and hugs xxx

  2. Hard to understand how jailing him can help. Maybe it isn't help that is intended. Is it to save him from himself, or what?

    Somewhere, there is something useful in this. What someone gets is what they need - so I believe.

  3. I too am sorry to hear this...but the line in your post,"but still a bit caught off guard....." sometimes seems to be how it is for an addict. If for just one moment the guard is down, then demons can creep in.
    I hope he gets comfort from Tom's visit, and that Tom gets strength from supporting a friend.
    Sending love.

  4. Hi Swan, I don't know lots about this but it seems to me that addicts are addicted. And it's not them falling back into it that's amazing it's when they climb out and stay out. It's hard. Sometimes backsliding just happens. I hope that Tom's visit helps both of them.

  5. I am so sorry about Tom's and your friend. I understand only too well the feeling. That's why I always tell people I sponsor that we are actually sponsoring each other; helping her helps me.

    The other thing that I remind people who do relapse is that they have not lost everything that they've learned. They have the skills, they just need to reapply them.

    Tom's taking the time to visit is the best thing he can do for both of them. One of the things I love about all of you, your being willing to pay it back and pay it forward. That's one of the reasons I keep coming back.

    If he does have to do time and you want to really give him support, give him a subscription to the AA Grapevine. I can't tell you the number of people I've talked to that told me what a help that was while they were "inside".

    Hang in there, I love you too much to have anything but the best wishes for you all.



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