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We are three adults living in a polyamorous triad family. The content here is intended for an adult audience. If you are not an adult, please leave now.

5/21/2006

I Asked for It...


We got off to sort of a rough start on Saturday morning. Let's face it -- I am not "easy" these days.

So, we'd begun well enough with a lusty fuck -- which isn't our usual "menu," but here lately, when things come up, we figure we better jump on it. Not to put too fine a point on it... I was only too happy to oblige, and did my thing; glad for the success of my efforts.

Then things went south, as He patted my belly, clicked the TV on, and padded off to pee... Dismissed...

I tried not to cry, but felt pretty let down. So, I got up, went on out to the kitchen and started the coffee, and began unloading the dishwasher. So much for fantasies of some sort of long, slow, luxurious scene... Ahhh well...

He called out from the bedroom that He loved me, and I guess He heard my muttering, because it didn't take long for me to get the command: "Get back in here."

Major fussiness... Not a good place to begin from. I eventually got it out -- giving Him a sense of how let down and how hurt I felt. How dismissed I'd been made to feel in that instant. How much I needed Him. The prescription of course -- a spanking.

I managed to talk my way into being allowed to keep my jammie bottoms on. I cannot even tell you how rare that is. Never, ever happens. Except this once. Spanked and paddled through my pajamas until there was not agony, but pleasant warmth and connectedness again.

And then, as He held me, and rocked me, and crooned to me, I asked for it. "Could we please try the viper?" Whispered. Because the viper is a strap that bites. Because I haven't asked for anything in play for a very long time. Because I haven't WANTED anything in play for a very long time...

He was surprised, but only too happy to oblige me. This time without the pajamas, at my instigation. I wanted the leather's bite on my skin.

It was good.

swan

5 comments:

  1. My swan, I am responding to this post and the one that precedes it. You have been struggling so dreadfully with the aftermath of your hystorectomy and your fear you have lost your sexual functioning, your identity, and you womanhood. Your sexual dysfunction has rocked the very fuondations of your soul. We are both struggling, but I am struggling, in in no way, to the extent you are. I have most certainly been tempted to be more Dominant in this time..........to be more disciplinary. That feels like abuse to me at this point, and this is ME talking............the ultimate unrepentant sadist. I know you think I am pulling back..........maybe to a degree, but not nearly to the degree you feel I have. I need to hold myself in check to not respond to your, at times, provocative behavior. You know I have never had any difficulty being Dominant. I know too that you are feeling "lost" like you never have experienced before. I am still holding out for a medical solution that will restore your sexual response. I am hoping the consult we will have Tuesday will be the beginning of that. Should that not occur (which is unthinkable) we will accomodate and be you and I, swan and Heretic, Master ans slave, Lover and loved, swan of the Heron clan, desired and taken, for always and all ways.

    I am thrilled you felt connected by our play this weekend. I'd forgotten how exciting the viper is. Asurredly I felt more in touch as a reslt of it.

    I will reiterate what I have told you, I think now, over a hundred times. We will get through this. We will do it together. We will be more whole as a result. You will be.........

    Mine always and all ways,

    Tom

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  2. Damn!! it is late and I forgot:)

    Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I just read this post again and recalled the experience it described. It was so "very" good our viper session, and I think perhaps we should renew it each day this upcoming week:) You do not understand that you have lost no attraction..........no degree of desirousness for me. You are mine....always and allways...and you will always connect under the "smart" of my strokes.

    You know I wondered in years past what ahppens to sexuality when you get old. I have the only experience of one 57 year old, myself,I know of, but I can tell you it is getting stronger, more defined and better, and better, more "perverse" (I guess that's individually unique), and strong.

    God I want so spank swan and t. God I want top spank the waitress who served our Saturday morning breakfast.

    Life is so wonderful.

    Tom

    Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.

    ReplyDelete
  4. swan..... i was going to reply to this one with a cheeky comment....... BUT of course had to read the comments that preceeded mine... Raheretic's comments left a huge lump in my throat .. god He sounds like such an amazing Man/Master....

    thankfully His final comment about wanting to spank the waitress made me giggle..... and so i will now leave the cheeky comment i originally planned......

    swan: this post about the viper made me think it was your "tactical" error..... bit like my tactical error with the cane..... your post made me giggle and made me feel even (if it is possible) a little more connected to you.......

    good luck on Tuesday with your consult..... i will keep fingers and toes crossed that some progress is made........

    morningstar (owned by Warren)
    http://wtsubbie.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  5. ding dang... i forgot....

    i will be thinking of your "renewal" each and every day this week........

    morningstar (owned by Warren)

    ReplyDelete

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