I've avoided putting images of me on the Web, feeling concerned about publicizing my visage and being identified in my vanilla life. I've decided that I look different enough with my hair down from my usual pony-tailed presentation to the world, that I bet no one who knows me in my professional life (who would likely never be here anyway), would identify me. So I thought I'd put this up.Today I found on the Web a picture of my erstwhile poly paramour from last fall. She has devolved or evolved, as your perception might vary, having left her career and her husband and home, to travel North America with a poly biker family, or some such, it seems. Seeing her pic on her Blog was a surprise in light of her previous paranoia regarding her private identity. I once posted her first name on our Blog and she became insane with angst thinking no one in the universe shared her (extremely common) first name. I can only assume that her recent unemployment has made her willing to surface in the community.
Sue has taught me some about Native American spirituality. Western Native American lore ubiquitously includes the tradition of "Hungry Ghosts." Hungry Ghosts are broken people who live off the energy of others. They are broken due to horrible abuses in their childhoods. They are unable to create any energy of their own. My love last fall was one of these. She took from me all she could until nothing remained, and then left as suddenly as she'd arrived. It appears that in the interim she's abandoned her husband, and moved on to others who can provide her a "fix" as long as they can suffice. Hungry Ghosts live in the form of human beings until they finally have no more energy to vampirize. Then they "die" and finally find peace. I wish all her future hosts peace, and that her peace, once she runs out of energy to exploit, is profound and, above all, permanent.
This is me as I appear in "the scene." It is remarkably different than my everyday appearance.
We've had the greatest weekend and I feel refreshed and reenergized totally for the first time since the Hungry Ghost had at me last fall. I pray for her latest victims an early release and a quick rejuvenation.
All the best:)
Tom
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.
It took me a long time to figure this out, but the truth is, if you label your website correctly (which you have), no one should ever find it who isn't looking for it specifically.
ReplyDeleteIf they are local and are into the bdsm scene and find it, who cares. Thats like running into a collegue at an event. It would certainly be embaressing, but to both of you and it would likely never be spoken of because of this.
Just my little take.
You are random blog #2 visited by my website site.
Please not to be labeled as a BIMBO....however, you have a lovely face....
ReplyDeleteBo
bo, I cannot imagine a reason anyone would think of you as a Bimbo. Thank you for your kind words.
ReplyDeleteAll the best:)
Tom
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.
padme thanks for stopping by. It seems to me that while you may not have your face plastered on the Internet, I've been able to admire a great many photographic images of you on your Blog:)
ReplyDeleteAll the best:)
Tom
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.
Hey, a pic of Tom!
ReplyDeleteI don't comment as much, guys, but I am a mad lurker.
Just wanted to come out, say hi, offer mental support for current toughness :)
Thanks again as always for blogging!
what a lovely pic Tom...so nice to see you :) you are a handsome one :)
ReplyDelete*hugs* to all...
Her, thank you for speaking up this time, and Anissa...........flattery will get you everything:)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments:)
Tom
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.
Tom,
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for your recent comment on my blog.
I would like to say that if you are ever up my way, let me know :) I'd be glad to let you 'set me straight' about those pesky rules I keep breaking :P
Thank you for being so brave as to share this photo. Might I add that you are very handsome, not only in appearance, but in personality as well. Thank you for your defence of me and my choices on my blog, they really mean the world to me and I appreciate your friendship greatly.
As Always, I Wish You The Best
SG
*wonders to self if a comment about resemblance to Benjamin Franklin would get her in trouble*
ReplyDeleteI think it is a great picture! You are certainly a handsome man inside and out :)
magdala~
I was thinking of this guy here;
ReplyDeletehttp://www.reviewjournal.com/images/bestoflv/1998/photos/louie-anderson.jpg
I have to agree. Handsome. And dammit, in leather even.
~swoon~
yay for pictures! Good looking man! :)
ReplyDeleteBefore I met Master I used to get comments from dominants that would be local to me but I never met at munches, meeting or events. And when I would ask them why they never attended - they said they were scared of being outted. Now I tried to explain to them that if the person was a munch, meeting or event...they were kinky themselves and wouldn't want to be outted either. But whenever I said that...they got all flustered and just said I don't like those things I am private. Now whatever their reason - I didn't understand it but I accepted it and often didn't meet them as I did want someone who was out in the community.
In my former community, I was out....out to everyone I met...vanilla, kinky or somewhere in the middle. I used my real name and didn't hide it.
Fast forward...now I am with Master and in a much much smaller town then I lived before and I have a VERY unusual first name. Thus only very few and far between get that name. Add in Master holds a public job and if someone was searching for us...it would not take long to find us. So, our bdsm website and blogs *had* to be with me under another name so that it wouldn't cause problems. It is hard being in the closet again though.
I totally understand that the person's name that you used...was common but I have to say I am amazed the searches my blog comes up under. Everyday vanilla things. I have had my blogs for almost 6 years so I get pretty high on googles hit lists...for seemingly innocent things that I didn't think anyone would search for...I mentioned a name of a town + plus something else that made me fairly identifiable and that combo was googled and my blog was found. So although I totally get that some names and such are common and that someone coming onto your blog is most likely kinky....after 6 years of blogging I have found that not always to be the truth. And the little things that seem like things no one would ever find me by....are some of the things that have been searched.
So being in the position I am where I have to be in the closet and knowing after 6 years of blogging how I “could” be found out - I have strong feelings that if someone were to tell me not to use their real name then I won't use it. Although it might not make sense to me. Although it might even seem silly to me....I still wouldn't use. I know that if I told someone not to use my real name in a post and they did....I would feel betrayed...and like I misplaced my trust.
I don't have to understand why people do things...just as many don't understand why I am a slave or in this lifestyle. But I do try to respect that they made that choice for themselves and accept it.
Oh my sorry for babbling on and on.
SG, thanks for writing. In light of what you are presently experiencing, I'd remind you that defense can mean more than skewering anonymous asshole commentors on your Blog. It can also mean listening and responding when you are hurting. You will pass through this loss and you will be happy and fulfilled again.
ReplyDeletemagdala,......Ben Franklin!!!!!!!!!!!
I am indeed very complimented to even be thought of even in the same breath as him......talk about a brilliant old poly profligate. Thank you.
kaya, thank you for the comparison. I'd never have thought of it (although this fellow and I have some distinctly different tastes in wardrobe.)
Danae, thank you too for all your words. I am not sure though that you would, for example, identify me by searching under the descrptor "Tom" (although I suppose stragner things ahve happened on The Internet.)
Destiny, what a wonderful surprise to connect with you. I didn't realize you read us here. It is so good to see you. It's been so long since Thunder 2001. I hope you and all yours are well and happy.
All the best:)
Tom
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.