Not That Picture?

Time for some silliness.

Oftentimes, it seems, to me at least, that when things really hit the levels of major comedy, it is because "Himself" has, in His usual headlong charge through life, neglected the minor details, and so set into motion a series of minor catastrophes that cascade into full on "Three Stooges" level calamity. There was last week on Wednesday, for instance. It was about mid-morning. Because of some oddities, I had a fairly light schedule at school with some gaps in my teaching day.

Thank goodness.

I was working at my desk when I got an IM from Master asking if I knew where the digital camera was. He needed it to give to one of His staff members so that some photos could be taken of an event that He was hosting with a local political figure. I responded that, "Yes, it was sitting on top of the television cabinet..." This is the digital camera that T and I purchased for His birthday two years ago because He simply "HAD TO HAVE ONE," and is the selfsame camera which He has hardly touched since -- save maybe one time which was a large part of His problem. I wished Him a good afternoon, told Him I loved Him, etc., and went back to work.

In a very few minutes, He was back, wondering if I knew if there were any pictures already on the camera.

Hmmm. "Well, yes, there were the photos taken outside, over the weekend, of the neighbors' guests parked illegally all over the street, blocking our driveways..."

"Anything else?" came back the words on my screen.

I thought for a moment, and then it dawned on me: "The butt picture!" He'd snapped a shot of my bright pink ass, after a session a few weeks ago, and then not done anything with it. It was still in the camera. This picture...

That sent Him into a panic. "I can't hand that to my staff! What if they see that?"

"Maybe they won't," I offered.

"I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT IT!" Came back the obviously freaked out words.

I understood that He knew that if He could find it, with His limited expertise with the camera, so could anyone else with a mere push of the button. "Are you on the PC?" I asked Him. When He told me He was, I suggested that He just download the pictures to the computer. It was then that He told me that He had 28 minutes to shower, dress, and get to the restaurant to meet His 1:00 appointment. AND He had no idea HOW to download pictures to the computer...

Deep breath. "Sir... what would you like to do? Download those pictures or take the camera with them still on there? I'll help you." No response. "Sir... Look for the grey cable at the back of the desk on the right. It will just be laying there loose."

"I can't find it!!!" Imagine what hyperventilation sounds like over IM.

"Look again. It is probably under a paper or something..."

"Got it!"

"Good. Now, there is a cover on the side of the camera. It is sort of rubbery. It just pulls to the side. (thinking that this all sounds sort of obscene...) Open it and you will see where the cable plugs in. Once, you've done that, turn the power on for the camera, and the dialog box for off-loading the pictures will come up automatically."

We got it done eventually. It took us a couple of tries to hit all the right cues to actually delete the photos. I think He probably was late to His 1:00 appointment, but He is chronically late to most things. He regularly reminds me that He does not need to be on time because 'He is not a peon.' It is a philosophical thing with Him... I think He was glad that He didn't have to worry about "bad" pictures on the camera... That is a guess of course because I never actually heard. Slaves don't need to hear that sort of thing. Glad to help, Sir... Giggle.

Although the idea of the "butt" picture showing up in the politician's face does help to lift the doldrums in some sort of evil perverse way. What the heck, there is precious little that is making this girl smile these days...

swan