Hands Up!

kaya gave me the idea for this one, and she's way better than me at fisting herself, and at taking pictures of the deed. I am just a total klutz with the digital camera, and not being able to see what you are pointing the thing at is even tougher. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there are pictures of my "parts" at the end of all of this. You have been warned. There's plenty of time to turn back now, or maybe you would prefer the scenery here...

Still.

There's been no fisting in my life for probably three years. That is entirely my fault. I've been entirely, utterly, unreasonably terrified at the whole prospect since my surgery -- imagining the bit of what is left of my "girly parts" as disconnected, unsupported, drastically shortened, and vulnerable to some sort of catastrophic breakthrough at the top end. So, everytime we've approached this (and I used to absolutely love fisting) I've panicked, and He's stopped rather than take a chance on traumatizing me.

There was a time when I was pretty adventurous, but I've grown steadily more timid and more withdrawn sexually in the last years. I want to reverse that trend, and I understand that the responsibility for doing that is on my shoulders.

This little trick really works for me from the standpoint of helping to allay my fears about the potential disastrous consequences of fisting. My hand and my fingers are right there exploring the unknown of my revamped plumbing. I am learning the geography of things, so the unknown won't perhaps loom so menacingly in my imagination.

I wasn't entirely successful this time. Along with the challenges of the fisting itself, there are all the issues of the contortions required -- my aging muscles and joints aren't all that excited about imitating a pretzel these days. No wild, rolicking orgasms either, and I do remember that used to be part of the deal. Perhaps it is a little like tickling yourself? Or maybe it is just that I didn't really get the whole fist in. Still, it is a start. My grandmother would have said, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." So, I'm off and "venturing." Grandma would be proud (maybe).

At any rate, I'm thinking that kaya's got a great idea here. Maybe we ought to form a "hands up" club.

swan