I've gotten much better at that in these last years. I am far more able to simply let things go into Master's hands; do what it is that I am supposed to be doing; and simply trust that things will turn out as they ought to. Or perhaps I've just improved in my capacity for letting go of the things that I do not control.
Right now though, with things feeling so stressed, I am feeling the weight of the responsibility, and my worry reflex is kicking into high gear:I worry that something will happen during the day while I'm at school, and I won't be there to help manage it.
I worry that T is home alone and that she is entirely without support.
I worry that she will overdo things and somehow set her own recovery back.
I worry about Master and His ability to keep being so courageous in the face of all the unexpected and unanticipated difficulty He is experiencing.
I worry about Master's father who is without much support from us at this time.
I worry about T's mother who is driving the distance from the town where she lives to be here with T every couple of days or so.
I worry about my job and their jobs as we struggle to hold this all together.
I worry about the costs of all of this. Hopefully insurance will pay MOST of it, but I cannot predict what amount we will actually owe when it is all over and done.
I worry about the friendships here that I am not tending to very well. I cannot seem to find the time, the energy, or the open computer access that I need to do that.
I worry that I will fall asleep and not wake up in time for something ... or not hear Him when He needs me ... or wreck the car.
I worry that I am worrying too much.
I worry that there is something that I should be worrying about that I haven't thought of yet.
Round and round and round and round...
swan
That is a lot of worry. Too much. Make sure you take care of you, too, through this process, as much as you can. Or, because I seem to think that you'll flail your arms around and scream at me that you can't! You don't have time! (grin) Take yourself out for some ice cream.
ReplyDeletekaya
Oh. And all your friends will be here. We're cheering you on, not impatiently waiting. :-)
we're here, swan, we want NOTHING, expect nothing - just know we're all sending positive thoughts to you and yours during this terribly difficlt time. I find the whole cyber thing most frustrating at times like this; how wonderful it would be to be close enough to take on some of the more mundane burdens for you.
ReplyDeleteI wish I would win the Mega-millions so I can help you with some of the financial things that make you worry.
ReplyDeleteI wish I lived close enough to stay with T to take care of her while you're with Tom, and perhaps (if you'd allow it) to stay with and care for Tom while you rest.
I wish so many things that I would do for you if I could in order to relieve your burdens and worries.
And I'm realistic to understand that you would likely find other things to worry about - sometimes it's just the way our minds work.
But I would try. I'll buy a ticket for the next drawing, and if I win, I'll be there in a flash to help you however you need it!
Now smile pretty lady, and breathe.
hugggggg
Tapestry
swan....
ReplyDelete(stern teacher look) you know damn well girl that "friends" will be here through it all.. wishing we could be closer to lend a hand..
so please !!! cross that worry OFF your list..
as for the others.. i am in no position to tell you NOT to worry... hell i take the prize for worrying...
just know i am here for ya.. and thinking of you (and yours) and nothing is gonna chase me away !!!
morningstar (owned by Warren)
DO NOT worry about us! We are real friends. That means now is our time to care about you. Later, when you are fine and we are not, you can return the favor.
ReplyDeleteI used to be the kind of worrier you are; I'm much better now. Another time we can talk if you want, but I have a favorite quote from MarK Twain I like to remember at times like these. He said "I've had a lot of troubles in my life, most of which have never happened!" Try to let go of some of those worries, it only makes you experience some of the misery you will probably never meet. That's why I love that quote, and say it to myself when I'm tempted to fret. I'm definitely a quote girl - they remind me, make me smile, get me through.
Hold on, sweetie, you're okay, really, and so is the family, even though they are challenged right now.
The consensus is correct....don't worry about us..we will all be o.k. Take care of you T and Tom...
ReplyDeleteBest to all...Karen
you must be worn to the bone, you poor thing.
ReplyDeletes.
Gosh I do that same kind of thing to myself. As if you didn't have enough currently going on in your life, you need to make more stress for yourself?
ReplyDeleteTake a deep breath and don't worry about the stuff you can't change.
Easier said than done of course.
Good luck, stay strong.
sin
STOP WORRYING!
ReplyDeletek, fixed?
:)
I'm a worrier too; try not to let it take over, k?
I know you know this, but remember, if YOU get run down sick with worry, what are they going to do then? Take care of yourself and yes, that means being a little selfish. Be a little selfish, it's okay.
This sounds so like how I felt when my grandmother was in hospital. A friend kept telling me 'step, and breathe, step, and breathe'. Kind of all you can do at those moments...then somehow, you're on the other side of worry, with no real idea how you got there.
ReplyDeleteSo....step, and breathe lovely one, and know we're stepping and breathing right along with you.
love and hugs xxx
I know what worrying is like, I think I'm the world worst worrier but please you must look after yourself, don't think about us,were here for you.
ReplyDeleteSending big huge arms to wrap around you.
Love.
Ronnie
xx
I often find that the worry and anxiety are worse than the acutal problem!
ReplyDeleteTry to stay grounded in the moment. Focus fully on each place when you are there and know that you can not control the places where you are not.
Remember to take some deep breathes now and then. You will get through this tough time.
Stay strong.
jojo
I'll tell you what L says to me:
ReplyDelete"Don't borrow trouble."
carolynn