Things That I Worry About

People who know me fairly well come to understand that I have a very highly developed "WHAT IF" thought process. I am a worrier. My recollection is that I've done it all my life. I never really fully relax. I am forever projecting into the possible future and fussing about things that I cannot get a handle on.

I've gotten much better at that in these last years. I am far more able to simply let things go into Master's hands; do what it is that I am supposed to be doing; and simply trust that things will turn out as they ought to. Or perhaps I've just improved in my capacity for letting go of the things that I do not control.

Right now though, with things feeling so stressed, I am feeling the weight of the responsibility, and my worry reflex is kicking into high gear:

I worry that something will happen during the day while I'm at school, and I won't be there to help manage it.

I worry that T is home alone and that she is entirely without support.

I worry that she will overdo things and somehow set her own recovery back.

I worry about Master and His ability to keep being so courageous in the face of all the unexpected and unanticipated difficulty He is experiencing.

I worry about Master's father who is without much support from us at this time.

I worry about T's mother who is driving the distance from the town where she lives to be here with T every couple of days or so.

I worry about my job and their jobs as we struggle to hold this all together.

I worry about the costs of all of this. Hopefully insurance will pay MOST of it, but I cannot predict what amount we will actually owe when it is all over and done.

I worry about the friendships here that I am not tending to very well. I cannot seem to find the time, the energy, or the open computer access that I need to do that.

I worry that I will fall asleep and not wake up in time for something ... or not hear Him when He needs me ... or wreck the car.

I worry that I am worrying too much.

I worry that there is something that I should be worrying about that I haven't thought of yet.

Round and round and round and round...

swan