3:30 AM

I got home on Tuesday afternoon, and He was all about spanking me with the red paddle.  It happens -- sometimes a particular toy will catch His eye, and He'll fantasize about it until it becomes almost an obsession.  Tuesday was like that.

Except that we were hungry.  So we got some dinner.  Then, as often happens after we eat, He felt uncomfortable and queasy, and so we settled in to allow His little, bitty stomach to settle.  And then, T came home from visiting with her mom, and we sat for awhile and visited with her.  By then, it was late, and He was feeling very tired and very sleepy -- and so we went off to bed. 

I was disappointed.  I was.  I'd been anxious about the paddling, but still, the idea of a paddling had wrapped itself up in my mind, and when it didn't happen...  There are some things that simply cannot be quickly and abruptly switched off.  But, I snuggled in next to Him, and eventually drifted off to sleep.

He woke up at about 3:30AM.  I don't know if that is a function of aging, or some hormonal shift resulting from the weight loss He's experienced, but He is often wide awake at that hour.  Most often, when He wakes up like that, He'll pull me in, tuck me under His chin, and hump away on my leg until He's ready to make love.  Depending on what's been going on with me, and how insistent He is, I am perfectly capable of rocking away in His embrace without ever really waking up. 

But, on Wednesday morning, I whispered into His chest -- "could we do that spanking now?" 

I cannot even remember that last time I asked for a spanking.  It has been a very long time. 

He was happy to oblige.  Of course.  Always. 

I got the pillow and got myself over it, and we were off and running.  He paddled away, and went and got the cane and gave me a sound caning.  I was there.  Really there.  No anger, no frustration, no voice in my head whispering the thousand things that can make me feel crazy and disconnected.  It was just me and Master and the steady rhythm of the paddle smacks.  Somewhere in the middle of it all, I began to feel myself riding along with the energy, feeling the thrill of sexual power pulsing through me -- and instead of suffering through every stroke, I surfed the rising waves, surging through the sensations until I landed safely in His arms in the dark. 

It was just as I remembered it.  Perhaps not as intense as I once was able to endure, but I came through it believing that I could have gone further, taken more, and even enjoyed it some.  He and I were together in that session -- I was not alone with the pain.  It was purely a joy and a delight.

swan