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Anyone Know Anything About Lube?

THEY have told me that this day would come -- for years.  Ever since I entered into surgically induced menopause, doctors have been clear with me that there would be a time when I would no longer be able to rely on my own natural lubrication to make sexual intercourse a comfortable and pleasant experience.  Frankly, with each passing year, I've allowed myself to believe, just a little bit more, that THEY might have gotten it wrong with that prediction. 

Call me "Pollyanna."

It is seeming though, in the last few weeks, that I am having more and more trouble achieving enough lubrication to make it work well.  The dryness is, surely, uncomfortable for me, but I am thinking it is starting to be an issue for both of us...  the slip and slide seems to be out of business.

Probably, I'm going to need to deal with some kind of artificial personal lubricant product.  And that's a challenge.  I don't know much about lube.  I avoid lube.  It is icky.  Slimy.  Gross.  Back in the day when we were still able to pull off vaginal fisting, we bought an inexpensive, store brand version of KY Jelly -- and then used it by the quart.  It was yucky, but it worked in that situation and got the job done. 

Today, getting to some kind of pretty good sex is a tricky business.  I need to really be able to focus.  I need to be able to feel subtle cues and subtle shifts in muscle tension and friction.  Sticky, gooey, slimey glop is a real distraction in that process.  It makes everything way more difficult.  And... it irritates my girl parts. 

So.  I am hoping that I am just not aware of the really good stuff out there on the market.  I am wishing that there is someone out there who knows the "ins and outs" of lube, and knows the secret to finding one that is both functional and nice to use.  Is there such a product? 



  1. renee'2:23 PM

    Hi Swan,
    Welcome to my world! This has been an issue for me since I had my surgically induced menopause at age 18. The frustrating part is needing the lube until about half way into the fun then you make your own and it mingles with the lube and whoa nelly.......... can anyone say take a ride on the slip and slide??!!
    My best advice is to stay away from the sex lubes and go for the "moisture replacement" products in the womens section.
    Good luck and have fun experimenting ;)

  2. Astroglide is good. I used it when I was nursing and had NO lubrication. It's also good for anal.

    Arkadia is better. It's a lube and a mild arousal gel as well. A friend who is an OB/GYN gave me a sample. Frankly I love it.

  3. Part of my problem was not just during sex but keeping my bits healthy the rest of the time. One time when I ended up at a women's health centre in desperation all red and sore, a nurse recommended I use this product:

    Their Gentle Skin Cleanser (which I use down there instead of soap) and Intensive Moisturizing Cream (worn night and day) been a godsend for everyday life. Have a look at the site and see if you can find a local product with the same ingredients or I can send some over, no problem.

  4. IMHO, and this is based on my dexual experiences rather than a medical condition:

    Water based is best, but not great for long-lasting encounters. If you want more friction, water based is the way to go. Wet brand is good. Oh My Bod I believe has a non-glycerine. If you're not using condoms, oil based might be the way to go, something like Elbow Grease (light is probably good for vaginal, if you're doing anal the regular is good). Condom-friendly, go silicone, something like JO or Wet Natural (cheaper than Wet Platinum and uses the same ingredients).

    YMMV, but best of luck!

  5. I use AstroGlide, too. Intercourse (ever so rare in my marriage) started to hurt back in my 40s when perimenopause symptoms appeared. I had no idea about lube. Then I got Lonnie Barbach's book "The Pause"and she opened my eyes. A big help.

    I take estrogen, which also helps, but I still need the AstroGlide. With the estrogen, fucking doesn't usual hurt, but if there's too much friction I can get an infection, so I make sure to use plenty, whether with a cock or a vibrator.

    A reminder that silicone toys need water-based lubricant, which Astro-Glide is.

    I've received some samples of other brands with the toys I get to review, but I haven't tried them yet. Maybe I should...

    Good luck.


  6. I didn't like Astroglide because it dries out fast. I fell in love with System Jo H2O. It's a water based lube that feels like silicone. Of course if you don't know about lubes you won't notice anything but KM and I try a lot of things since we both love large objects and lube is necessary for that.

  7. We use grapeseed oil which can be found at the grocery store. It is light and not greasy. It was recommended by my doula for after-birth sex when I was not physically able to produce my own lube. Still use now (1 1/2 years after birth), mostly for anal penetration.

  8. Irritation is likely caused by an ingredient. There are numerous types of lube out there - aloe based lubes tend to be more nourishing to tissues.

    Glycerin can be problematic for some women in terms of causing infections and such, so check ingredients when you purchase - you have to shop around.

    (If using silicone, JO is the way to go)


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