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We are three adults living in a polyamorous triad family. The content here is intended for an adult audience. If you are not an adult, please leave now.


Small Things

All difficult things have their origin in that which is easy, and great things in that which is small.
Lao Tzu
For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.
Carl Sagan
There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.
Anais Nin
The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.
William Faulkner
Try to realize it's all within yourself no one else can make you change, and to see you're only very small and life flows on within you and without you.
George Harrison

It feels like we may have broken through some sort of barrier to an easier place.  It feels like we may have started to be better together; different than what has been for the last year.

We are beginning to have moments that seem good.  We are beginning to experience small joys and tiny intimacies:  a warm and welcoming hug, a genuine smile, a playful swat on the behind, a cocked eyebrow and THAT look, snuggling together in comfort, sex that gives us chills.  It is almost scary... we are so aware of how very, very fragile it all is.  

It is as if, in finally finding the words to reject the AA model, a very important piece of our lives is reclaimed.  It feels as if all the long, grim, miserable months of trying to fit into that weird box are now over and we can breathe again -- live again.  Months of feeling that there was no hope; believing that everything was lost; slogging through our days and nights in tandem -- never really touching; alone and broken and grief stricken... all ended.  It is like the sun came up for our little family.  

It is clear that we are not nearly "all better."  There's a lot to do before that is the truth.  Now, though, we are not pretending to believe in some sort of voodoo.  Now we are clear that the work that lies ahead is ours to do -- and we are beginning to have some sense that the strength to live these days lies within us.



  1. I know your struggle is not over, but I am so happy to hear you've found some happiness. I wish all three of you continued success in learning to move forward.

  2. as W always says to me when I am struggling along - "baby steps"

    I am very glad your "baby steps" are moving you forward

  3. Small things..they are what often bring joy. I am so glad the small things are returning, I know you will cherish them. abby

  4. It sounds like the sun is starting to shine for you again. I sincerely hope it continues.

  5. Impish111:29 AM

    Love those quotes, and I find them so very true. I am so glad you are finding small joys.

    Even without the horrible struggles your family has had, I think there is an element of this to this stage of life for many. There is a change to our aging bodies, our careers perhaps, care of aging parents, loss of friends who may have health difficulties of their own. The aging of our bodies, and fatigue from the lifestyle can take a toll on our relationships. With the ongoing problem of four aging multi-problem parents (six including sister inlay who helps), I've been doing a lot of reading on the problems and views of aging, and these feelings seem pretty common. It really ain't for sissies, and finding the quiet joys and thankful moments of each day seems to be the key for who makes it and who does not.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that we may be entering a new stage of life, and some of this may be us adjusting to it while we wonder where the old way we felt went. That you are doing it successfully while juggling what you are is a testament to the strength that will get you through.

  6. Anonymous1:57 PM

    I hope more good things come your way.


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