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We are three adults living in a polyamorous triad family. The content here is intended for an adult audience. If you are not an adult, please leave now.


Horrible Weekend

It has been an awful weekend.
Criticisms lodged here by various commenters set off a firestorm of bitterness and depression.
I can't imagine what people think their negativity achieves.
I am so tired of it all.
If it were up to me, I'd delete this whole blog.
He won't allow that.



  1. I hate negative comments. There can be 20 positive and 1 negative and I focus on the negative.

    It's damn hard putting yourself out there, exposing yourself.

    Please be gentle people...

  2. Impish18:07 PM

    I'm so sorry for all the pain, wherever it comes from. TOM, for the first time, in your comment in the last post, I think I finally get it. I can hear the post traumatic stress syndrome which I know can be so difficult to treat. Please don't give up. You count, Swan counts, T counts. You have been a mental health professional. When you want to leave it is disease talking. It is possible to have life on the other side; please don't give in, don't give up. You are worth the struggle.

  3. I could never be as honest as you all are here.
    The pain caused by thought- less comments can only be imagined.
    Please keep fighting to stay true to yourselves.

  4. Just sending hugs! Lots of them.


  5. Hugs....I cannot imagine going through the year you just have and still surviving....please hang in there. abby

  6. Weirdgirl12:35 AM

    My comments were never intended to inflame the situation and I sincerely apologize for their having done so. They were also never intended to be negative. My heart has ached for the three of you as I have read here of your pain and I am so very sorry to have made that worse for you.


  7. Anonymous1:23 PM

    If you were my friend or family member, someone I loved, I would not say to you "keep on going" with this blog the way others have, no, I would say, if this blog and its comments ruined your weekend and brought on a firestorm of bitterness and depression, take the blog down.

    I say this with all good intent. No negativity or nastiness or any of that meant whatsoever.

    I think it's good advice. Especially because I don't think any of you, especially Tom, are in a strong enough emotional place right now where venting here and then getting any sort of feedback is a good thing. It appears to be making the situation worse.

    I really hesitate saying this, because the last thing I want is to come across as hateful or negative in any way. I wish good things for you, as I do for all people.

    By the way, I am anonymous because I cannot risk being associated with BDSM blogs these days, I just can't. It's too dangerous for me. So I'm not hiding from *you* by being anonymous, just hiding my tracks online as best I can.

    I wish you well.

  8. Anonymous2:14 PM

    I can't tell you how frightened I was to see the Blackness. Please know that many of us are concerned for the well being of all three of you. Please take care of yourselves.

    (for some reason I can't seem to comment with my normal i.d.)

  9. You are all, always, lifted up and sent positivity. You are all, always, loved and accepted. You are all, always, encouraged, supported, and wished all the best for. May the Universe grant you all, the courage and strength and peace for the living of these days.
    All of you, always.

  10. I know I'm a complete stranger, and this happens to be the first time I've ever tripped across your blog, but I wanted to leave a note of encouragement.

    I think that you're all being very brave about sharing your struggles in your relationship, and in just reading the first page of recent posts, I'm feeling a little less alone in the world.

    I ended up stumbling here by way of Google when I typed in a search for "polyamory and alocholism" because I've been feeling pretty alone in the world lately because I'm in a polyamorous relationship with an alcoholic. I'm afraid to speak out in the poly circles because I'm afraid everyone will hyperfocus on his disease and insist that there must be something wrong with me for wanting to be with him (has happened before, and I haven't the strength or energy to deal with it... so I understand where you're coming from with your exhaustion from the less supportive comments on this blog) and I'm afraid to speak out much in my friends/family of alcoholics circles because I fear judgement of being poly. It's been feeling like a pretty lonely place.

    It does seem like the blog is a helpful healthy thing to have in the dynamic of your relationship (from the selection I've read) and that alone makes me feel like you guys ought to keep it... but is allowing for public commentary via comments really necessary? If it's causing undue stress and strain, maybe you should disable them by default and then if you want to turn them on for feedback you can decide on a post by post basis?

  11. I don't have advice. I don't have wisdom. But I have ears that can listen, and a hand that can hold.

    I so wish peace could rain down upon you all...

  12. Anonymous12:10 AM

    Why not make your blog password protected, and allow only those you want to hear from to read it? Or...block comments from all and invite your friends to email their comments to you? You could block anyone else.

    It doesn't make sense to continue to pretend that you invite honest discussion, and then complain about it. Seems self destrucive to me.


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