Calm

Just a couple of days ago there was a comment on morningstar's blog that set me to thinking. Her friend, drakor wrote:

"it is not all about the intensity it is more about the calm of slavery that attracts"

Now, I have to admit that I quite often fall short of anything that even remotely resembles "calm" in my slavery. Still, I think there is great truth in what drakor points to. Slavery, is not about what we do or what is done to us. It is about a sense of being in a place in our lives that fits, and that is so right for who we are that it is perfectly, utterly calm.

I have discovered that, when I manage to find myself in that mode, all my doubts and fears and inner chatter settles down and I simply live in His world -- and that feels right and good and easy. For me, when I am in tune with that part of who I am, there is very little sense of struggle usually. Slavery becomes like breathing -- like being my own self, because that is what it truly is.

The issue, for me I think, is that it seems difficult on many days to get there and stay there. I feel myself tugged off my center by many competing forces and demands. I am buffeted by outside influences and outside voices and a whole lot of "imprinting" that can cause me to respond and react in ways that are not at all in keeping with the truth of my slavery or of my best nature. When that happens, I end up feeling stressed, angry, unhappy, bitter, and way apart from my own sense of "calm."

I know, from experience, that the solution (when I'm feeling off balance) is not to abandon the slave path that is the correct way for me, but to renew my dedication and attention to it. The place of calm and rest and security and simple freedom for my spirit, heart, and mind is found as I turn fully toward Him.

Whatever else comes at me from the outside world, that is the fixed mark that keeps my world steady and sure. That is the stable and calm center of my life. That is, ultimately, aside from all the other bits and pieces, what makes me His.

swan