Master -- The Man

It is easy I think, in writing about BDSM stuff, and about "life in general," to focus on what it is that we do, and forget that we are actual human people with emotions and feelings and reactions and hearts. Sometimes, the titles and labels and personas that we use and create with the words we weave serve to reveal, but they can just as often hide the truth of the people to whom we assign them.

The last few days have been incredibly interesting and packed with flashing events/images for me. As I am running back over these days in my mind this afternoon, I am realizing that there is a sense revealed in these happenings of the Man that is my Master that perhaps many never get to fully see or understand. I'd like to take just a bit of your time and give you a picture of that Man...

I've told you that He and I attended a two-day meeting in the capital over the weekend. It was the annual meeting of a state level advocacy organization for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. The board of trustees meets quarterly. The "membership" meets annually. Every four years, at that annual meeting, we elect a new slate of officers. This was that "election" year, and the position of president was being sought by two different people with notably different approaches and styles. Master had a candidate that He supported, and for whom He worked and "politicked" quite intensely. When it comes to things political, He seldom loses, and He is not someone that I'd ever want working against me. By the time it was all over with, the election itself got quite ugly at a personal level (not by Master's doing), and the "other guy" did lose. There was high drama as he tendered his immediate resignation and left the meeting with a flourish before the new officers could be installed. Things ended on a rather low note. As we drove home, we discussed the whole business, and it was clear that Master was torn -- feeling triumphant politically, but bad personally for the fellow. We arrived home simply drained; unpacked; napped; had some dinner; talked it all over with T... And then good and decent and honorable Man that He is, Master called the man whom He had worked so hard to defeat, and talked with Him about how much He valued all the things he's contributed, and how badly He felt over this outcome, and how much work there remains to be done, and how important his contribution could be going forward. It was sincere and heartfelt, and I believe it preserved a friendship and changed what could have been a very bitter split into a potentially powerful alliance.

Last evening we joined another friend to accompany our good friend, M, out for a celebration of his 61st birthday. M has a developmental disability, and while he functions pretty well, he needs a variety of supports to succeed in the community. Our family is a part of that network of friends that surround him and help him live the life he chooses to lead. This year, his choice for his birthday celebration was a trip to Hooters. So, there we were, Master and T and I, along with another good friend and M -- drinking beer, eating Hooters' food, making sure that M got his picture taken with lots of Hooters girls, and sharing the wonderful sugar free dessert that T made (M is diabetic, too) with our whole party and a good number of the wait staff as well. As we sat there, watching M beam, surrounded by friends, he was clear that it was because of Master that he is able to live his life the way he does and make the choices he wants to make.

We came home close to 10 PM and Master set about writing testimony that He planned to give to our city council this morning concerning a public transit fare increase that would severely impact the disability community in our city. It was after midnight before He was satisfied and ready to head to bed.

Just before 1:45 AM, the phone rang. Master's elderly father was suffering from acute nausea and being transported to the local emergency room from the assisted living facility. Without hesitating, Master assured him that He would meet him there. So, with perhaps an hour or just a bit more of sleep, He was up and out the door, headed off to be the support to His father at the hospital emergency room. Although I offered, as I always do, to go along, He refused to hear of it, insisting there was nothing for me to do and no reason for us both to be up all night. As it turned out, He sat for two hours at the hospital where His father had told Him they were taking him -- and when dad never showed up, Master called another hospital in the city and discovered that the ambulance had diverted there because the one where they had initially planned to take His father was full. So, at 4 AM, He had to drive across the city to actually link up with His father. Eventually, dad was diagnosed with pneumonia, admitted to the hospital, and Master was able to come home -- at 6:30 AM.

It was just in time to have a bit of breakfast and get ready to go and give the testimony He had prepared the night before. Anyone else would have begged off, and been justified in doing so, but Master had committed to doing this, and so He was determined to go.

As He got cleaned up and dressed, I grabbed His prepared testimony, took the keys to His car and scooted off to the nearby Kinko's to make copies. When I came back, I tried to put His car into the garage because our plan was to take my car to the hearing. It is a long story, but I have terrible difficulty with putting the cars into the garages, and this morning, I misjudged the opening and scraped the left front fender of His car on the garage opening. Damn! Rattled and upset, I parked the car on the driveway, and went inside to give Him the bad news. He simply looked at me, shook His head, smiled ruefully, and mused: "you poor thing -- you have more trouble parking the cars in the garage!" That was it. No recriminations. No blame. No anger. The gentlest of responses, acknowledging the event, but also affirming that the circumstance is one that I genuinely have trouble with.

We headed off. He gave His very poised and professional and pertinent testimony.

Home for a bit more of a nap and then off to attend yet another meeting. In the midst of it all, He continues to worry about His dad. And, we worry about Him.

That's the Man who is my Master.

swan