What Would Vanilla be Like?

I've thought for some time about writing about my "unique" sensual erotic orientation. My taking a little time for myself today, and swan's focusing attention on me in the previous post here, has prompted me to write about this.

I detailed my developmental history with adult consensual erotic and disciplinary spanking here on our predecessor Blog, The Swan's Heart back in 2005.

Since that time my fascination with spanking women has not lessened even in the slightest, and quite frankly, I'd be most surprised if it ever does (for which I am I am extremely grateful.)

Recently I've found myself not only reveling in the self-acceptance of my sensual erotic orientation, but too, trying to imagine what it must be like to be vanilla.

I realize this is a difficult thing to achieve. It is like the challenge of a man trying to imagine menstruation or a woman attempting to empathize with the expereince of an unwanted erection, but it is a thought that keeps creeping in my head.

What would it be like not to think of spanking swan or t? What would it be like to not foucs my attention on the ass of every woman I meet and to not imagine how she would react if I were to blister her? How would she writhe? What would she vocalize? Would she struggle fiercly or would she submit docilely? Would she be aroused or tramatized.......outraged? Would she accept this form of sensual erotic expression were she to encounter it or be horrified? Has she ever been spanked as an adult? Does she find the prosppect exciting, or anxiety provoking, or horrifying? Would I need to restrain her, or would she feel the need to be restrained? Would she be better with the paddle, the cane, the switch, the whip? And on and on and on...........

What would it be like if my reactions when I am attracted to a woman were thoughts of intercourse, or fondling her breasts, or cunnilingus? Surely all those acts are gratifying and parts of a sexual relationship.............but I cannot imagined feeling an attraction, and having those enter my head as anything but a very secondary and subordinate desires as opposed to spanking.

My life is complex and full and rewarding and challenging. There is so much going on simultaneoulsy, as swan pointed out in her last post about me. Through everything though, there is this continual subplot, like the background music in a movie that swells to a crescendo at times, and which is only subliminally perceptible at others. This backdrop to my life of my meeting women, feeling excited by and drawn to them, and wanting to spank them and imagining that expereince as a way of connecting, and expressing fun, passion, energy, and excitment.

I am so fortunate to have swan who shares this score as a background to her life and eroticism, and t for her huge help in helping me to grow into acceptance of this need, central to who I am, and necessary for me to have become whole.

I cannot imagine how life would be if I were not continuously involved at the core of my consciousness with adult consensual erotic and/or disciplinary spanking.

I have great sympathy for those who are not blessed to have had this huge gift of energy and passion in their lives. I would think my life would change from technicolor to black and white without it. I hope for them that their eroticism provides them too with such energy, and life-affirming excitment.

Tom

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.