"Those Things Should Commend Me"

John Hope Franklin, a scholar and pioneer of African-American studies who wrote the seminal text on the black experience in the U.S., and worked on the landmark Supreme Court case that outlawed public school segregation, died Wednesday. He was 94. Franklin was born and raised in an all-black community in Oklahoma where he was often subjected to humiliating racism, and he was later instrumental in bringing down the legal and historical validations of such a world. He was the first black department chair at a predominantly white institution, Brooklyn College; the first black professor to hold an endowed chair at Duke; and the first black president of the American Historical Association. Franklin's book, From Slavery to Freedom (1947) sold more than 3.5 million copies. It was based on research Franklin conducted in libraries and archives that didn't allow him to eat lunch or use the bathroom because he was black. Some of his greatest moments of triumph were marred by bigotry.

I heard a National Public Radio interview with him, done a few years ago. He told the story of searching for a house to buy near the campus when he became a professor at Brooklyn College. He spoke of being unable to find a realtor who would agree to show him properties that were clearly being advertised for sale, and he told of the struggle he had, once he did find a place to buy, in getting a bank to loan him the funds needed for the purchase. The interviewer asked him if he'd ever felt like just getting in front of people and saying, "Do you know who I am?" He told her that he'd never done that, and when she asked why, He said, "I am a human. I am well-educated, fairly well-dressed, well-mannered and well-spoken. I think those things should commend me."

That simple statement really struck me. I've been in several conversations lately about the way our lifestyle choices have impacted our lives; about our decision to keep our choices largely private. I know that I have a simmering anger about the fact that such hiddeness is necessary, about the fact that we could lose our jobs should any of this become known, about the fact that there are absolutely NO legal protections or guarantees for us or our family. It just isn't fair.

There is a segment of the polyamory/BDSM community that believes strongly that the only path to equality for all of us is to "be out" so that we can be seen as another definable minority able to petition for the same rights as others are given. I understand that thinking, and I believe there is power to a grassroots citizenry that is visible and united. However, the beliefs that underpin that approach seem to me to be very close to the question asked by the incredulous interviewer: "Don't you ever want to say to people, 'Do you know who I am?'" Like Dr. Franklin, I think we ought to be able to insist that we are human, polite, responsible, educated, honest, committed ... and that those things ought to commend us. It ought to be enough. It probably won't be enough, and it is likely that we'll need to fight for a very long time before we are allowed to live openly and safely in the communities that are our homes, but I hope we never lose sight of those qualities of character that commend us.

swan