A Place That Welcomes

Impish left an interesting comment on a recent post.  She wrote:

I have so enjoyed our discussions here. You, and Tom have been willing to answer questions when I felt stupid and naive, and I have tried to be respectful. At other times, I have felt that we are in parallel hormonal lives, or have similar/ dissimilar emotional bents and want to discuss. I hope that when it's not a good time, or good question, or you don't want to that I will know that rather that overstepping something I value.

I truly appreciate the thought that is conveyed there, and I believe that sentiment is representative of the vast majority of our visitors here.  Our readers have, by and large, been consistently respectful and open-minded -- even when there is disparity between "our way of life" and theirs.  We've tried to keep this place open and welcoming to any and all who come to converse, to ask questions, to learn, to enjoy the community that has grown up around us over these years. 

I sense that there are some of our readers who are feeling a bit of discomfort about the recent nastiness that has sprouted in our comments.  Resolving that discomfort is part of the reason that we have chosen to not tolerate that particular sort of presence here. 

To me, it seems analogous to a situation that developed years ago in the Colorado town where I lived.  At that time, my family enjoyed being able to go to a nearby movie theater that sold tickets for just a dollar.  That cheap ticket thing made it possible for my young and usually financially strapped family to enjoy an outing to the movies now and then.  It was a bright, welcoming place; well kept and staffed by friendly and competent folks. 

And then, a couple of different teenage gangs decided that the theater was "their turf."  Almost overnight the friendly welcoming little theater became a battle zone.  Hulking, sulking, sullen, angry young men prowled all over the place.  Fights broke out in the parking lot.  It became risky to leave your car parked there -- thefts were a commonplace.  The friendly, happy staff quit one by one. 

Soon, the families, retirees,  and young couples who had been the mainstay customers for the place stopped coming.  It was just too dangerous and uncomfortable.  Within six months, that neighborhood theater was out of business, and the windows were boarded up.  The last time I was back in Colorado -- it remained an empty, silent, sad-looking shell of a place.

Allowing hooligans to move in and occupy the space eventually led to its demise.  I don't know if anyone realized the impact of that at first.  I don't know if anyone considered what they might do about the problem in the beginning.  I don't know if the end of that enterprise was at all clear to those who were running it on the day that the very first gang banger slouched his saggy ass through the door.  What I do know is that it became very clear that failure to defend your place leaves you vulnerable to being overrun by outsiders who might destroy the sense of welcome and safety that people feel when they visit you.

That will not happen here.  Visitors are welcome here.  Friends and cyber-neighbors are surely welcome, but so are those who are merely sight-seeing or only curious.  We are even most happy to engage in discourse and debate with those who do not see the world the same way we do -- who might disagree (although we will insist that disagreement be expressed politely and with respect).  We value this place and the relationships that have been forged here.  We will endeavor to maintain it as a comfortable and hospitable venue for all who find their way to us.  Should any come with malicious intent and establish a destructive and negative presence, they will be removed -- banished forever.

This will remain a place that welcomes.

swan