Favorite Posts -- The Origins of Modern Monogamy

On July 4, 2005, just a few days before His scheduled knee replacement surgery, Master wrote a piece that has become THE destination post of our blogs ever since. His treatise on the origins of modern monogamy, laid out the history and political intrigue that ultimately enshrined the notion of marriage as an institution that is, in the words of the religious fundamentalists, “one man one woman,” in the unexamined assumption set of our society. It isn’t the only discussion of “marriage” as a topic to appear on our blog. There are plenty of places where we speak to our experiences, our hopes, our beliefs about the whole idea of marriage – and particularly the notion of marriage equality. “The Origins of Modern Monogamy” does what none of the rest of it does – it goes to the root of a widely held “cultural norm” and examines where we all got the ideas that are our common inheritance on the subject of marriage.


The original piece is a lengthy and detailed discussion, and it is full of historical and theological scholarship. If you’ve never read it, or haven’t read it in awhile, then I’d suggest that it is well worth your time. Like so many of the best pieces that make up this blog, however, there are some pithy bits that carry the spark of the whole within them. Take a look –

…Monogamy is a much cherished concept within Christianity. It's basis is economic. It has no theologically historical basis …The statement that, "Throughout time and throughout all cultures marriage has always been seen as a union between one man and one woman," is a lie. It is not the Judeo Christian tradition prior to the 600's … It is not the practice of the Moslem world and has not been for thousands of years … adherence to monogamy is a social aberration throughout world culture, not a norm…

Our household has lived, for over eight years now, as a polyamorous, committed, intentional family. We are not alone. We’ve met and formed friendships with others who share our understandings of how love and family can occur outside the narrowly defined boundaries that some would insist apply to us all. Some. Not all. We have friends here, many friends, who choose to live in monogamous relationships, and yet honor us and our lives with acceptance and openness. We’ve marched with others of all orientations and all beliefs, who endorse the notion that love is the core value that we can all share. I love “The Origins of Modern Monogamy.” I love the passion and the fire and the conviction that pours off the page when I read those words written nearly five years ago. It is a remarkable and intriguing piece of research, but even more than that, it is an anthem and battle hymn for those of us who live and love and hope to one day see our families stand on an equal footing with our monogamous neighbors.

swan