Coming Back

We've begun again. To spank like we used to. Sort of.

I'm still nervous and unsure. That is improving as time goes by.


He still seems tentative and careful of my "well-being." That is not an all together bad thing. It is, however, the thing that defines our path forward.


That being said, it is more common these days for Him to use the implements that He likes, and to go for the sets of 25 or 50 strokes that were our norm back years ago.


I am finding that, even as I contemplate (in the middle of the most intense parts of these sessions) getting up and walking away, that I no longer actually do that. I still flash to anger at some points, but there is a voice that calms me so that I don't break away and flail at Him in the midst of what should be play.


It is still a long way from what we once shared. We are still feeling our way. We are still gripped by the realities of our lives. But things seem hopeful to me.


swan