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We are three adults living in a polyamorous triad family. The content here is intended for an adult audience. If you are not an adult, please leave now.

3/22/2009

So I'll Remember

We have not been playing these last few weeks. We've been very preoccupied, and for some significant part of this stretch, He hasn't felt especially well or vibrant.

We haven't talked about it much. He commented about a week ago, that He'd read somewhere that severe caloric restriction kills the libido. Maybe so. I have simply focused on trying to serve, trying to keep things calm here, trying not to make demands or increase the tension levels.

Waking up this morning, knowing it was our last morning before surgery, I was resigned to the likelihood that we'd probably not be going there today either. I was feeling sad, feeling scared, feeling already lonely and small.

So, when He woke up and wanted to play, I was thrilled, but also afraid. My emotions have been under such a tight rein these last weeks, that I was worried that the intensity of SM play would bring them boiling to the surface.

He wanted to play with our new spreader bar. We've had it since Winter Wickedness, but hadn't had it out to play yet. So, when He was ready, I rounded up all the cuffs, the pillow, the spreader bar. Once I was in place over the trusty pillow, He proceeded to hook me up, and with my face buried in my little, squishy, red neck pillow, we were on our way. He did some hand spanking, some caning, the red paddle (of course), the 5-fingered tawse, more red paddle, the dressage whip, and the single tail... oh, and more red paddle at the end.

I cried. I begged. And, yes, some of my fear about the pending surgeries did bubble to the surface. He was right there. Settling me and soothing me, and then taking me on further on the path He had in mind. The spreader bar worked just fine, thank you very much. We finished, and we made love and it was good.

I imagine I'll remember, quite vividly, just who I belong to as I wait for Him and T in the hospital tomorrow morning. I am feeling warm, stronger, safe, better equipped to make the journey ahead.

Thank You, Sir.

swan

7 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:29 PM

    All the best to all 3 of you for sugery day tomorrow. Hope it all works out fine and the surgery goes okay. *hugs*

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  2. Anonymous1:31 PM

    Red suits you. ;-)

    I'm wishing Tom and T (and you, as you wait!) the very best for tomorrow. I'll send my most healing juju your way.

    kaya

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  3. thinking of you guys and what a great Master he is; even in the midst of his own angst,thinking and grounding you like that.

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  4. i agree with selkie - i am sitting here all teary eyed ...

    you take care of YOU over the next week or so.. while you are busy taking care of everyone else - i don't want you to forget about YOU ok???

    hearts and thoughts with you tomorrow

    morningstar (owned by Warren)

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  5. Anonymous5:27 PM

    I'll be thinking good, safe thoughts for your Master and T, and patient, calming thoughts for you.

    ~Chloe

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  6. Anonymous3:12 AM

    I'm guessing he needed that just as much as you did lovely one.

    love and hugs xxx

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  7. Anonymous6:28 PM

    I'm so glad you were able to have this before surgery, both to ground you and to enjoy before the drought. Thinking of you...

    ReplyDelete

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