M/s, Trust, Change -- Really?

I know that I really ought to just stay away from Fetlife.  Every time I let myself get swirled into the conversations at the place, I end up shaking my head in disbelief and frustration.  It is summer time, and I've been back, cruising around, finding myself engaging in the whole tussle again.  Here's the latest bit to get me into that head shaking business (emphasis is mine)--
I say that whatever a Master and slave agree to before the slave becomes owned by said Master then T/they should both keep keep to that agreement. If the Master breaks any part of that agreement, then the slave can no longer trust that Master, no matter how big or small it is. No trust equals no relationship.

I just keep reading it and thinking, "REALLY?"

Now, I'll admit that I have a bias.  I've seen negotiation in the scene.  I've seen people do extensive negotiation before a scene.  Extensive.  And detailed.  But, to be honest -- there was very little that would have looked like negotiation between He and I prior to our entry into our Master/slave dynamic.  We'd spent time together, getting to know each other, and we knew pretty well what we were about.  The relationship evoloved and we pretty well went with it.  We didn't have a goal in mind at the outset, and we neither one ever took the initiative to try and drive and shape it in some pre-determined way.

So.  I can't really talk about how that prior agreement thing might work in practice.

I have, however, lived in long term relationships and I can say this with certainty:  there is no such thing as keeping to whatever was agreed to "once" without any deviation over the long run.  To ask a Master or a slave, or any other partner to promise to never, ever change in ANY way, is simply unrealistic and naive.

Things change.

People change.

LIFE is change. 

Master and I have been together, in real time, for the last 8 years.  Neither of us are the same as we were in the beginning.  I am not the same sturdy masochist as I was then.  Not as hungry.  More tentative and more fearful.  He is not as singularly enthralled with me as He was in the beginning, and that does live between us.  We are both older.  We've both undergone changes.  Phyiscal and emotional and personal.

What, I wonder, when I see people who seem to me to be young and relatively unmarked by life's vagaries declare that ANY deviation from the agreed upon "way things will be" is an unforgivable breach of trust, do they really expect?  Are there people who actually believe that two fallible human critters can sit down together and iron out every minute jot -- and then agree to never, ever, under any circumstance allow anything  between them to change.  REALLY?

Trust is not some fragile bauble that can be shattered by the slightest bump in the road.  Trust is a deliberate, conscious, and intentional investment.  Choosing to make that investment requires courage, commitment, and loyalty for the long haul.  Of course it is only wise to study and investigate before choosing to invest in a relationship, no matter what the shape of the power flow.  No one with any sense would invest their financial capital without doing the appropriate due diligence, and we should be at least that careful when we are choosing potential intimate partners.  However, I find the continual drumbeat of angst-ridden fussing about trust and broken trust disingenuous.  There is no way to guarantee a particular future for ourselves.  The future is unknowable, existing only in our imagining.  Life carries us where it will.  The adventure might not be safe.  The challenges come hand in hand with the joys. 
swan