Spanking as...

We often spank before sex.  Master is sadistic, and spanking turns Him on, so the juxtaposition of spanking and fucking is just sort of the natural way things are.  It makes sense. 

I have, as I've worked my way through these post-hysterectomy years, come to think of spanking in just that way -- as a prelude to sex.  It has remained, for me, the only pathway to sexual release.  I just don't seem to respond very intensely or reliably to "vanilla" intercourse.  Too, when I masturbate, the images in my head are almost always of pain and control and submission. 

So sadomasochistic play has pretty much come to equal sex, and that is good with me.  I figured that was pretty much the way of things, and I've not spent a lot of time contemplating the ins and outs (interesting pun that) and finer points of all of that. 

Yesterday afternoon, though, He and I played together and it was different -- at least from my perspective.  He had me over His knee, and He had His usual collection of straps and paddles.  He began a bit more slowly than is usual, and I'd been wanting Him to spank me, so I was "in the mood." Still, for me, spanking usually just hurts in the beginning.  Sometimes, or maybe even most times, it just hurts all the way through.  I get my "goodie" out of something besides the pain...  It's complicated. 

Yesterday, I was working my way along that beginning battle with the pain, when I suddenly noticed that He was rubbing me, and stroking me, and scratching me -- and it felt good!  It surprised me.  It is not the usual way of things.  He kept on playing with me, alternating between pain and pleasure, and I was simply enchanted.  No panic.  No anger.  No frustration.  No sense of injustice.  I was able to catch up and catch on and just go along with whatever He was doing, and it was as if every single sensation was a single thing...  There was no past to be angry about and no future to be afraid of.  There was only this one moment, and this one feeling.  And then the next.  And the next.  And.

When He finished, with all the paddles and all the straps; when He tapped me on the shoulder as He usually does to signal me that the session was ended, I was surprised; almost startled.  I kissed the paddle, and thanked Him for my spanking, and laid there across His lap trying to find my way back to the "real world." 

We got up and headed into the bedroom, and we made love.  It was more than just sex.  It was love making, and I felt good and relaxed and alive and completely connected to Him.  Almost from the very first, I could feel the heat rising in me, and it wasn't long before I reached that oh-so-rare orgasm.  He was right behind me, and we giggled together like a couple of happy children.

Later, as we talked about what had happened, He said something about it seeming to go better -- maybe because there had been some decent foreplay.  FOREPLAY!?!  The word stunned me.  I just hadn't thought about it in those terms.  I hadn't considered that spanking could work for us, for me, as foreplay.  I've been going along figuring that foreplay was some foreign, mythical thing that was for other people.  But there it was...  foreplay.  Us.  Wow.  Perhaps having that word in the mix; knowing that it isn't just spanking before sex, but spanking as foreplay can work that magic spell again.   Mmmmmmmm.

swan