People I Miss

I started blogging at The Swan's Heart in December, 2004.  I've never been an everyday blogger.  The pace of my days tends to determine how frequently I show up with something to say.  Too, when life gets very, very intense... I can go quiet.  Blogging helps me to process how I'm feeling, and clarify what I'm thinking -- but sometimes there just are no words... or maybe it is just that there are no words that I can find and assemble in any sort of orderly fashion.

Bloggers come and go.  Things happen, people change .  Life carries us each along on our separate currents. I've "met" some amazing and wonderful people through this medium, and every now and then, I stop and remember the ones who shared their lives for a time -- and then faded away; people that I miss:

• Malcolm, who was my very first commenter; who often offered words of comfort and wisdom.  I wonder about Malcolm, living so very far away in the Phillipines with his lovely wife and young son.  He was a fair bit older than me.  I have not heard from him for a very long time.  I wonder.
• Paul, who for many years was a regular visitor.  He always had some kind word to offer.  Something strange happened with Paul at some point, and I never really understood what.  I still see him around here and there, but he doesn't visit here anymore.
• Magdala, who was a remarkably eloquent writer.  Magdala could discuss the merits of a new coffee pot and make it sound fascinating.  In fact, I seem to remember one blog post that was exactly that -- a discussion of a lovely red coffee machine.  I hear from her privately now and then, and I know that her life has had its challenges.  I miss her voice.
• Algor, my bright, eccentric, poly friend from Nebraska.  He has offered me interesting points to consider on more than one occasion, and was one of the positive and affirming voices as I struggled after my hysterectomy.  Maybe I just wore him out, or maybe life just pulled him in some other direction.
• M:e, was always a thoughtful and gentle soul, and I valued her insights.  She knew, as very few do, the vagaries of trying to live inside a relationship that was not the traditional couple.  Health challenges and personal challenges have rendered her quiet in the last year or so, but her voice lives on in my mind and heart.
• Caitlin, was my slave friend.  She and I shared a bond that I never really understood entirely, but I loved her sweet nature and her fierce spirit.  Her sudden death was a horrible blow to her Master and her son.  There have been so many days in the last couple of years when I have dearly wished I might call her up and just talk it over with her.  
• Gabriel and kaylem were my frequent correspondents in the early years.  They were bright, warm, adventurous people, and I loved the thoughts they shared.  They had trouble with being out here in public, and in time they simply faded away from the blogging circle.  I don't blame them...
• Grumblin and minionette were frequent commenters in the early days.  He was a plain spoken and funny guy and she was just a wonderful, lively, delightful presence.  Theirs was a trans-continental love affair, and I do hope they somehow managed to find a way to bridge the gap between them.  
• Jo (aka searabbit) was a friend from France.  She struggled mightily with mental health issues, and her own relationship was rocky and unsetteled.  She didn't always understand what it was that we were up to here, but she was kind and gentle with us.
• Tangerine would probably qualify as a "vanilla poly" friend (although I think that is a contradiction in terms).  She is local here, and we've socialized with her and her partner on several occasions.  They are busy people, and our schedules don't easily mesh.  I wonder if they wonder what to say after all that has happened.  I probably should try to call her.  
• Lynlass has often been around with good advice and words of encouragement.  She tends to come and go, but for now, she seems to be gone.  I hope someday she'll come back.
• Greenwoman, a mystery and an enigma and a fascination.  She was a friendly voice who also lived a poly life.  She had other blog personnas, and she came and went in her Greenwoman guise... until, finally, she went and did not reappear.  I hope she is well and happy somewhere.

Others, like kaya and danae, are still out there -- but seldom visit here.  Sometimes the distance is just too great, and the gap is too wide.  I get it.

I am enormously grateful for those who do visit here, comment here, and share the journey with us:  karen, sin, oatmeal girl, morningstar, weird girl, conina, abby, impish, mouse, ana, ordalie, joyce, jojo, Mystress, and Mistress 160.

swan