What Does a Collar Mean?

Taylor asked, in her comment on my last post, what the collar worn by a woman in her mid-seventies might mean. Truthfully, without knowing the woman in question, there is no way to answer that question, but it set me thinking about my own collar, and what it means for me to have it and wear it.

Collars, within the life, are freighed with such symbolism. We who are given them, or who give them, sometimes allow that symbolism full value, somtimes not. Some of it is made more lurid by the fiction that is drummed up about us by those who look in at our lives from the outside and try to imagine what we must be about...

I know that the collar I was given by Master has deep significance to me -- and I do not wear it all the time. My life, outside our home precludes that. In fact, I did not actually have a formal "collar" to wear in the beginning of our relationship. I had the marks of His ownership, His initials, cut into the left shoulder blade of my back. That scarring served as the mark of my slavery. It was sufficient, I think, in His view.

There came a day, when I asked Him for the collar. It was a need that I felt. A lack that I suffered. He generously, feeling my need, granted my wish in this instance. I remember, with great joy, the moment He placed the collar that He and T picked out for me, around my neck.

The collar, represents for me, His presence, His power, His steadiness in my life.

It serves to center me, to calm me. I often seek it out when I am feeling lost, small, unsettled. It brings me a sense of peace that few other things do. In those instances, I will generally put it on myself if I am in a setting where I can wear it without risk.

Nothing moves me like having Him put it on me. It touches me deep in my soul.

Unlike the wedding ring that I wore for over two decades, the collar speaks to a committment made of soul and heart, rather than of legalities and social norms. It is purely chosen.

I have other pieces that I wear that also speak of our lives together. A ring, purchased before we were all together that matches one that T wears -- I think of it as my "sister" ring. And our heron clan pendant that I wear all the time. And the BDSM logo that I wear daily.

None of these are equivalent to the collar.

Together however, they make up the suite of pieces that speak to my life and my call...

swan