Master's father is 90 years old. Born in 1918, he has seen most of the changes this country has undergone since the turn of the 20th century. He is a World War II veteran, about the same age as my own father would be had he lived past his 71st birthday.
As he has come to accept and simply expect me in his world -- come to see me as part of the family, he has taken to commenting to Master and T, on occasion, that I am "a real darb."
Darb. Interesting word. Not an expression with which any of us are familiar. The way he usese the expression, I've been sure that there was nothing bad in the use of the term. On the other hand, I've been curious to figure out what he might mean, exactly, by the word, "darb." So, tonight, when I had a few minutes to think about it, I Googled "darb." Here's what I found:
The Columbia Guide to Standard American English lists two slang terms; dab and darb as follows--
dab, darb (nn.)
These slang words have somewhat similar meanings, but their etymologies are unclear, and they are apparently unrelated. A dab or a dab hand is British slang for someone who is an expert; darb is an Americanism probably nearly obsolete today, a slang word from the 1920s meaning “something or someone very handsome, valuable, attractive, or otherwise excellent.”
These slang words have somewhat similar meanings, but their etymologies are unclear, and they are apparently unrelated. A dab or a dab hand is British slang for someone who is an expert; darb is an Americanism probably nearly obsolete today, a slang word from the 1920s meaning “something or someone very handsome, valuable, attractive, or otherwise excellent.”
Awwwwwwe....
swan
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ReplyDeleteToday I lost (but gained too) another day of work despite crisis level deadlines approaching that could have career ending consequences for me if not met, because my dad made his third trip to the hospital in three and a half weeks, and his fourth in the last three months. This time the verdict was pneumonia. Before this he had a fall about 10 weeks ago, and then three and a half weeks in rehab., then a week later congestive heart failure, then about a week later renal failure. Hopefuly this time a few days of IV antibitotics and he'll be back with his friends at the independent living center where he resides. He relishes his time there, and even what with his having spent only half his time there in the past three months beween hospitalizations and rehab., each day of his time "home" is quality time. My Dad is like the social director of the center where he lives and is doted on by everyone. Going to dinner with him there is like walking around with the "big man on campus." While he is struggling helthwise (he is 90) he is as cognitively sharp as a spritely cub of just......70; unlike his neighbors. They all seem to think he is their leader and friend.
ReplyDeleteI know this is not a good picutre medically, and I likely won't have him much longer. A few weeks ago he called me and said, "I have a little money left so I called my broker today and bought 100 shares of Citibank." I asked him if, considering the current economy, he thought investing in the financial sector was wise? He said, "The price is a bargain now and besides, I have a long term investment horizon and it will rebound!" That's my Dad, and I'm sitting here crying because I don't want to lose him. I especially don't want to face this so soon after losing my mom in February.
Tom
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.
Tom,
ReplyDeleteAs someone whose life is very much intertwined with an elderly and increasingly frail 91 year old lady, I immediately connected with much of your words. I feel so much love, admiration, immense respect, and almost awe at their determination to keep going no matter what life throws at them.
When we lose them, as we both recognise is inevitable, our lives will be both poorer for the loss yet immeasurably richer for all we've shared with them.
My thoughts are very much with you. Love and hugs
I hope I shall be as sharp as your dad when I am 90 (12 years to go). It's so long since my Dad died - almost 50 years - that I cannot remember what I felt; but when my mother died aged 89, almost 20 years ago, I certainly cried buckets of tears and was and still am so grateful for her life and her consistent giving nature.
ReplyDeleteI have told my wife not to take me to hospital to die, I want to die, when the time comes, at home with my wife and son near me, if that's possible. I wonder if your Dad has the same wish, Tom? Is that possible in the America of today, so devoted to hospitals, drugs and surgery?
Malcolm, Master's father lives on his own in an independent living center not far from our home. There, he is the "king of the hill, squiring a bevy of ladies who all seem to dote on him, and befriending a cadre of older fellows who are his admirers and friends.
ReplyDeleteWe all visit him regularly, assist him with his shopping, join him for Sunday brunches, stay in touch with usually daily phone calls, and will be together with him for the coming holiday.
We are not sanguine about the realities. We understand that our days and weeks and months, and hopefully, years, with him are limited. For now, he enjoys his life, and we enjoy him.
For now, he is determinedly fighting his daily battles to keep on living the life that he chooses to live. We are doing what we can to uphold his choice to do exactly that.
When the time comes that he reaches the end of his life, we will surround him and hold his hands and talk with him and sing to him and support him on his way -- exactly as we did with Master's mother last February.
swan
Tom,
ReplyDeleteI can certainly relate. My own mother is 87, and though healthy, I have seen a decline over the past year. I lost my father several years ago, it was extremely difficult. I guess I always thought he would be there for me much longer.
I know it is very stressful, but cherish the time that you have with him (though it sounds like you do). I am so glad that you have Swan and T to support you, and that he has them as well.
Swan,
What a wonderful gift to have received this acceptence and affection from Tom's father. I am so glad that he recognizes your place in the family and loves you for that.
Alice