Sleazy and Stupid

Our world seems engulfed in quiet (well, sometimes quiet) chaos, and a low-hanging, pervasive sadness -- all tinged with exhaustion.  That is not likely to change anytime soon.  We are mourning; each of us coping with our sense of loss, and working our way along the path of grieving in our own ways.  We are working to support one another, share the burdens, manage the work according to our various skills and talents.  So... we are pretty boring just now.  I believe that we'll come through this part of the journey in time, and when we've healed and recovered, life will begin to brighten up and sparkle again. 

Until then -- perhaps our readers will forgive us if this space looks toward more abstract and theoretical topics, at least part of the time.

I've been peripherally aware of a variety of recent news items that revolve around public behaviors that seem, frankly, sleazy and / or stupid. 

I'll get to the "stupid" part of this, but let me first address the things that I find "sleazy."

Webster's dictionary defines the word "sleazy" this way:  "marked by low character or quality."  Perhaps it is a mark of my age, and I'm sure it goes to my upbringing, but I honestly find it shocking that seemingly normal, decent, socially prominent people routinely behave as if there were no customs or shared boundaries -- no taboos in our society.  Sometimes I wonder when it happened that we decided that there was no particular requirement for civilized and polite public behavior.

I am not a prude.  In my intimate life, I enjoy my sexuality, and His.  I love the ways we connect intimately, and I hope to be able to engage in those activities, and celebrate the connections we make for a long, long time.  Too, I've played in very intense ways in very public, scene-specific venues -- although we have never taken our lifestyle choices out into the "vanilla" public space.  We tend to hold to the notion that other people should generally be given the right to "consent" to participation in our kinks.  No consent means they don't have to play.  Period.  That's a foundational tenent of our BDSM practice.  And remember that society considers us "perverts."  If perverts like us can figure out the socially acceptable boundaries, then what excuse do some of these news hogs have?  Check it out...

Here's actress, Bethenny Frankel, on what I assume is a book signing tour.  I don't follow the reality TV craze, but apparently she's part of the cast for something called "Real Housewives of New York."  When He and I first saw this mentioned on the news, He was all perked up over the overt display of ass.  For my part, I observed that it seemed that her ass was more attractive than her face.  Whatever one thinks about that, surely most would figure this is a sleazy moment.  I much prefered a world where people were at least a bit coy about what they did or did not wear under their clothes.  In those "good old days," we universally wondered what a Scotsman might have on under his kilt? 

Then there is the whole sordid panoply of political folks of all persuasions that cannot seem to figure out what it might mean to behave with decorum or live lives marked by personal integrity and character.  We are therefore treated to the shameful antics of Jon Edwards and Mark Sandoval.  It isn't that I believe that monogamy is so essential to the living of a decent and moral life, but honestly -- if you espouse that as an ideal and a value for yourself and all the rest of us, then what on earth makes you believe that all of us should forgive you when you don't practice what you so vociferously preach?  Of course, those two are not alone in their pecadillos -- Bill Clinton. Newt Gingrich. Eliot Spitzer. John McCain. Rudy Guiliani.

Tiger might be a great golfer.  Maybe, he is even the greatest golfer ever, but he is right there with all the other sleaze-bags in public life.  The only salient difference, from my perspective, is that Tiger never has preached about the "rightness" of his proposed lifestyle choice. 

However, sexual infidelity, and ethical inconsistency is not the only form of sleazy behavior that runs rampant in today's society.  There's the kind of weird and entirely nasty sleaziness that is the stock in trade of media phenom, Rush Limbaugh.  Anything that Limbaugh hates is, by definition, wrong.  It isn't about some sort of "old time religion."  Rush teaches us that to be pissed off is to be morally superior.  Under the guidelines of ordinary, often religiously-based morality, we might consider the circumstances and burdens with which those who break the rules live. The poor, illiterate, and desperate, are pernhaps more sympathetic than ruthless lawbreakers would be. But since Rush never stops being angry, he never stops being right.  Like Sarah Palin, he lurks in the shadow of the human psyche, wallowing in anger, resentment, jealousy, and vindictiveness.  And, that is, in my view, sleazy no less than if the man were parading down main street with his dick hanging out.   

I'm not suggesting that we crack down on behaviors that some might define as lewd or crass or shabby.  I'd rather see greater freedom than less.  Still, I dearly wish we'd come to a place of personal and collective maturity that would compell us to determine that some behaviors, sexual and otherwise, are inappropriate for the public square.

And then there's stupid...  but I've gone on for a bit.  So, I'll save the "stupid" ones for another post.

swan