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We are three adults living in a polyamorous triad family. The content here is intended for an adult audience. If you are not an adult, please leave now.

1/14/2011

T's Mom's Crisis

T's Mom is in respiratory distress with oxygenation levels hovering in a range between 60% and 80%. She has, as one would expect, great agitation and discomfort. Hospice is doing a fabulous job of crisis case management and making her comfortable at home, as is t's mom's great wish that she remain at home.

T went up to Dayton late last night as this latest crisis ensued, and spent the night there holding her mom close, supporting her niece, who has become her grandmother's live-in direct care and support person, and doing what she can to feel that she is giving her best loving and caring support to her mom during this crisis, as she has through all the others her mom has had in the last year and a half since her Mom's surgery and subsequent strokes.

In the last week her Mom's respiration diminished to a level where she can no longer tolerate standing beyond pivoting from a wheel chair to her recliner, bed, or the toilet. Additionally she seems to have lost her ability to swallow food other than liquids.

It would seem obvious that this is going to be the end of her life. We know certainly that she is not going to be "cured" of her present conditions, on the other hand, we are all unready to have her go. We have had several times in the last year and a half when it was "obviously" the end. Each time with amazing courage and resilience she has rebounded, and we have had the gift of this sweet soul's presence with us for yet a while longer. We shall see how this progresses.

The good news, if there is any, is that in just the last 48 or 72 hours t, swan, and I have felt more healed and bonded again than at anytime in the last three months since our family's crisis, described here so lividly, has developed. Hopefully we will all be better able to support each other, and especially our t, through whatever it is that is headed our way.

T's Mom, Eleanor, is as good and sweet and giving a woman as you will ever meet. She has spent her life loving her family, and making family (literally) of people who had no family, and who needed love, whether they were 3 months old or 50 years old, no matter what the circumstances were that caused them to be alone and in need. She has always taken great joy in being alive, despite what challenges life placed in her path, and that has never been more true, than over the last year and a half since her strokes. We all are holding her as close in our hearts as we can, and holding onto each other.

We love you t so much, and love your Mom so dearly.

Mores & mores,

Tom

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.

10 comments:

  1. I am keeping you all close to my heart

    God bless T - she has a lot of her mom in her I think.......

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  2. HUGS to all of you...I am going throught the same with my dad. You are all in my thoughts.
    abby

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  3. These are lovely things you have to say about T's mom. It sounds like she has loved and been loved and created family. And this part is hard. I hope you can be there for each other and for her.

    sin

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  4. Thinking of you all.

    Love and hugs,
    Ronnie
    xx

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  5. Sending hugs to all of you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Kelly

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  6. You all continue to be in my prayers, including T's Mom. You are all very special people to me and I want what is best for each of you.

    With Love,
    Lyn

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  7. Impish11:31 PM

    Respiratory struggle is so terrible for all. I'm so glad you are all able to be together for each other right now. Holding you each close in the only way I can: caring thoughts.

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  8. Support and courage and hope for peace, no matter what lies ahead, are yours, always, all of you.


    Tapestry

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  9. Love, prayers and hugs for all of you.

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