I Need a Beating

That's right. Simple truth. I need a beating. Not a spanking.



I need to be tightly restrained, gagged, and taken where I would not go voluntarily -- beyond my fear, beyond my panic, through the anger and rage and fury, into blood and welts and deep bruises, to the place where I can give up all of it and simply let go and rest.



We are a good, long, ways from the time when that can happen. He is still tired, worn out, very tentative feeling. There is a long way to go before He is completely recovered. Needing will wait for now. I only know that it is building in me, growing to haunt my dreaming, lingering in my awakening -- a hunger that will not be entirely ignored.



swan