I have never engaged in "bratting" within our relationship -- at least not consciously and deliberately. Very early on, I learned to simply ask for the spanking play that I caraved, and since He was as "into" it as I was (or maybe even moreso) that always worked just fine and saved a whole lot of fuss and upset.
Monday night, though, I was in full on brat mode. It's new territory for me and for us, and I just don't know what to think about it.
It wasn't a HUGE thing really. There are lots of ducks that live around the pond behind our home. Anytime we go out onto the patio, the ducks come running -- begging to be fed. Our evil condo association has rules against feeding the ducks -- rules which most people in here routinely ignore. Every now and then, T or I will get out some icky box of cereal that we bought because it was "healthy," and that none of us will eat -- and toss a handful or two to the ducks. This makes Himself just crazy. He doesn't like the ducks in the first place, and is certain that we will be fined hundreds of dollars for breaking the rules.
So. Last night, while He was barbecuing our chicken for dinner, I grabbed the box of cereal and tossed some to the ducks. "Stop feeding the ducks!" He commanded. I simply turned, grinned sweetly, and stuck my tongue out at Him.
That was all it took. We were ON for spanking right after dinner -- as He caught the challenge in my behavior.
What I am still wondering about is the why of it all. Why go there after all this time? It just isn't my way -- or ours. The only thing that I can think of is that "bratting" gave me a way to put the possibility of spanking out there without the "obligation" that I think tends to arise when I ASK. He's been feeling so stressed and so pulled in so many directions, that I've started to feel like spanking me is one more thing on His list of "to-do's." I don't want to be a burden or a chore. I didn't really think it out, but I think in my head somewhere I calculated that pushing just a bit would give Him leeway to respond or not... as He chose.
It worked this time, but I don't like the way I feel about doing it. I need to think on this some more.
swan
"The only thing that I can think of is that "bratting" gave me a way to put the possibility of spanking out there without the "obligation" that I think tends to arise when I ASK."
ReplyDeleteI have never bratted for attention, undivided or otherwise, but god a lightbulb went off when i read that above! There have been plenty of times where I desired/needed to be beaten, but would never ask for it out of fear that he would feel the obligation you speak of.
While for Master bratting is an absolute no-no, I can see why this behavior came into play for you and he. And I enjoyed reading the processing you've done about your bratting.
Great post!
melissa
hang on one sec swan... the picture you drew with your words made me smile.. i could almost see you sticking your tongue out .....
ReplyDeletei know today you aren't sure how you feel about the whole incident.. but last night when you did it.. how did you feel??
i don't see it as bratting to get spanked.. hell no !!! In my mind it was a little tease.. He didn't have to spank you you know.. there are lots of other things that could have been done.. or He could have just laughed it off..OR been as shocked as i was that you would actually stick your tongue out....... (i used to do it frequently - until Sir used hot sauce on my tongue.. and took away the fun of sticking my tongue out!!)
Anyway.. in my humble opinion.. it was all done good naturedly .. and there isn't anything to apologise for...... but that's me
morningstar (owned by Warren)
Swan, This is something I have done, written about and pondered myself. Over time I got to thinking there are two kinds of 'bratting': bratting for fun, or attention, or the need to push boundaries, that which at some level both partners find acceptable, then on the other hand there is bratting which is manipulation and acting out. The second kind is unacceptable in our realtionship.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I always try to ask for what I need, and am usually responded to. We don't like game playing. On the other hand, there is something that satisfies in a different way; earning vs. asking for a spanking is just different. For a long time I knew Grant's feelings would be hurt if I intentionally provoked him. I could not allow myself to hurt his feelings. It was a big relief for me when we reached a place where he really understood that there may be times when I simply need to 'feel' his dominance without coming out and saying "please spank me". Yes, I need a spanking, but more than that I need him to decide to call the shots, to assert himself. Why? I have no clue. I may be feeling a bit insecure, a bit hormonal, the moon is full...as long as it is OK with him. He has said "You do what you need to do and I will do what I need to do. I do my best to be as honest as I can with my needs, and to ask and not to provoke...but if I REALLY need to, I know it is OK.
It sounded more playful to me, and I wonder how Tom felt about it?
I can see why you are feeling tentative about this having happened. You have, for years online, counseled new spankees not to "brat" as a way to ask for spanking. You've been very forceful in telling them to express their spanking needs directly. Now you fear that potentially you've violated your own precept.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all.........relax, you did not violate anything. You were teasing and cute. The fact was you turned something that resembled a disciplinary like spanking situation into something cute and fun. This has not happened to us for a long time and I loved it.
If you were seriously being disrespectful or disobedient it would have been a very different matter. This was not that at all.
I loved the ensuing spanking. Because of the sort of role play like atmosphere it created, I was able to enjoy a moderately disciplinary-like spanking style (disciplinary spanking is what I most enjoy)moreso than we usually do, without it having to be a serious spanking.
If you recall, near the end of the spanking you became upset and said that you were afraid I was "mad at you." I made it clear that I wasn't at all angry with you, and then gave you a couple of final sets of paddling just to make sure you had the message:)
I love you so much and it is good we are both getting to enjoy spanking again.
My spanking libido is through the roof lately, and you are starting to enjoy it again. It is good not to feel that I am simply beating you while you hang on for dear life expereincing nothing but horrible suffering. It was wonderful for the spanking we had to be something more for you than a horrendous ordeal.
Welcom back sweetie. I love you and look forward to dealing with your sudden penchant for tongue distension many times in the future.
Mine Always and All Ways,
Tom
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.
Now Tom has said his piece you have your answer regardless of what anyone else says so maybe this is a little redundant. Was just going to say that M would far rather me just ask, and says he never feels that puts him under obligation but it DOES put him in control of whether he grants my request. It took me a long time to really get that.
ReplyDeleteNow, we do have the playful times that you two had with this. Like Tom, M enjoys that side of me too, its fun, and shows a comfortable place in a relationship which takes a while to reach. We have the comfort of knowing that they'd certainly tell us if that ever changed.
love and hugs xxx
The word bratting for this makes me feel uncomfortable because of all the negative connotations it brings up. My husband loves this kind of relaxed, teasing play between us, as do I, and it often has little to do with spanking. Like good comedy, the key is timing, placement, and not overdoing it. If you get it right, the result is a deepening of the bond between you with fun and laughter, and a reminder of your roles.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like something I would do playfully and dont think it was bratting at all. I know that my husband would consider it all in good fun too but if I really "brat" I know Im in for a serious punishment spanking...definitely nothing fun about that!!
ReplyDeleteSuzanne