Waking Up

He's been winding up for something more "real" between the two of us -- for awhile. As He wrote here, He's been "awash" in spanking energy. Our days have been frenetically busy and brutally exhausting. There has not been a single opportunity to act on any of that...

My hungers are less demanding these days, but they are back and not to be denied entirely. I think the only difference between us, in terms of dealing with these long, difficult stretches, is that I've become used to deferring my wants and needs to some degree. It isn't as frustrating to me in the short run as it can be for Him.

Whatever all of that might or might not mean, we woke up this morning ready to play. Both of us. We came to it all slowly and without any sense of rush. That, in itself, is unbelievable luxury for us. One of the subtle shifts that has come about in recent weeks is that He's been inclined to find alternatives to my usual, face-down-on-the-bed, over-the-pillow position, to something that gives Him better access with more comfort for Him in the bargain. Nothing extreme, really -- just bent over the side of the bed with my hips up on a pillow. It is still pretty secure feeling for me, although my toes don't touch the floor. He seems to feel like it is a huge improvement from His perspective.

To my complete surprise, once He had me there, He didn't go right after whomping the tar out of me. Instead, He stroked and teased me with His knife. I wanted to just float away with the delicious sensations that He was creating, but was stuck in my own head with the fear of knowing that the good stuff wouldn't last long. But... then... He started to finger me, and reaching for the lube, pushed harder and harder until He had most of His hand inside me. I was caught between the sheer pleasure and wildness of it, and my same-old fears. We got close, but I began to panic, and He stopped just short of the point where He would have popped right past that last barrier. Still, it was exhilarating and wonderful. He left me for a few minutes while He went to wash up, and then He was back.

Back I went, into position, and He began to spank in earnest. I know that early in the sequence of things, there was the very light Lexan paddle. I recognized the sensations of several of our straps. Then, He began to paddle me with a Lexan paddle that has beveled holes in it. Somewhere in the middle of that, I began to sense the edge of "subspace" rushing toward me. Even though I don't get to subspace often, I can always tell where the point of entry is, and I had a momentary thought that, "this cannot be happening because it never happens when He's paddling me." But there it was; the bright purple lights against the blackness in my head, and then I was there, following the purple lights. I knew that He was still there, and I knew He was still after me with some of the implements that I usually barely tolerate. I could hear Him; I could even respond to Him (sort of), and I was just following along in total amazement. I do think that He took full advantage of my little trip to La-La land and went after me with gusto.

The afterglow was warm and sweet and breathless for us both: a really good session! He promised that there would be much more later in the day -- acting out some of the fantasies that He's been entertaining this last week. Unfortunately, within the hour, it became apparent that in the midst of our morning romp, He'd strained His back. He spent much of the day unable to stand or walk comfortably, and that pretty well took care of any further playing today. I did talk Him into a massage late in the afternoon, and that has seemed to help. Perhaps, those fantasies won't have to put on hold forever.

swan