It has been going around. One of those things. You know -- it gets started somewhere, and the requirement to play is that you do this or that or the other thing and then tag 3 or 4 or 5 or more of your very best blog-world friends.
Sometimes these chain-y things are sort of interesting, and it is really a good way for each of us to recognize one another and offer support and encouragement and affirmation. Those are all good outcomes from this sort of interaction.
So, I really do appreciate the thought that led Carrie Ann at A View From The Floor to include me in the "Sexy Blogger Awards." Thank you, Carrie!
But, NO. I am not going to play on this one. I could maybe feel flattered and charmed, except that "sexy" is just not part of the repertoire anymore, AND having a great piece of "flogging furniture" does not make ME sexy. It just means that I have a coffee table that causes the grandparent types who sometimes visit my home to question what the idea behind it all ever was...
Sometimes these chain-y things are sort of interesting, and it is really a good way for each of us to recognize one another and offer support and encouragement and affirmation. Those are all good outcomes from this sort of interaction.
So, I really do appreciate the thought that led Carrie Ann at A View From The Floor to include me in the "Sexy Blogger Awards." Thank you, Carrie!
But, NO. I am not going to play on this one. I could maybe feel flattered and charmed, except that "sexy" is just not part of the repertoire anymore, AND having a great piece of "flogging furniture" does not make ME sexy. It just means that I have a coffee table that causes the grandparent types who sometimes visit my home to question what the idea behind it all ever was...
It is easy to find the definition for the word "sexy." Mirriam-Webster's gives the definition: seductive or stimulating, interesting or attractive. There. You see? Stop for just a minute, and get a clear picture in your mind...
Which of you had the very clear image of a 54-year old, parochial school teacher? Anyone? No. I didn't think so. That's because "sexy" implies someone with youthful curves and perkiness and eager freshness. To be "sexy" there has to be some internal, personal belief that it is possible to become sexually responsive. That business of being "sexy" is about being sure and confident of one's own femininity. To show up as "sexy," a person has to know and believe that they are "hawt." I'm not.
I'm strong, and I'm healthy, and I'm a hard worker and a decent cook. I earn my keep, and I can hold up my end of a conversation. I've got curves, but I'm carrying a few extra pounds and a lifetime of gravity is starting to take its toll. My skin isn't bad thanks to a lifelong tendency to burn which has kept me out of the sun for the most part. I am not dreadful to look at (I hope), but I am not "sexy" by any definition of the word.
So, thanks for stopping by, but no awards here this week.
swan
oh you're just modest!
ReplyDeleteWhats wrong with someone finding how you write or what you do sexually appealing??
Who says anywhere that sexiness stops at the age of 30,40 whatever. Gosh i hope it doesn't in fact I know it doesn't, i still find my Dom sexy at the age of 50 and I always will. It's what he does and how he makes me feel...not how he looks. Tho ...he looks good!
'Sexiness' can be more an attitude than a physical thing sometimes and a a certain confidence that you're happy with how you are despite whatever baggage there might be.
I hope you dont interpret this as a negative comment it's meant as a supportive one!
I'm sorry you don't feel sexy but I have to disagree. I find you a lot sexier than most of the young, perky, eager twits out there.
ReplyDeleteAnd the flogging furniture?
Coming up with that is sexy as hell, far as I'm concerned. So is using it. So is taking pictures of it in use.
And, god damn it, I find those pictures sexy. Your flushed face and flushed butt and the slightly miserable, slightly embarrassed, slightly shy look in your eyes is damned sexy.
But I don't mind you not wanting to play. You've got better things to do at this point and more important things to focus on.
:)
The first time Dan said, very VERY early on in our dating, "My god you are sexy!" I was shocked. I had been riding him, naked and my body is/was obviously aged. My breasts sag and they have marks from having breast fed my babies. I have stretch marks on my belly too and my belly will always be pooched out from having babies.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, one of the reasons I hate being on top is that Dan can see all that.
But Dan loves me being on top because Dan can see all that. heh.
I asked, big-eyed, "What is making me sexy?"
He said something along the lines of me being completely sexual at that moment, lost in my pleasure and his, a sexual being, connected to him and that had made me suck in his breath and say, "My god you are sexy!"
Sexy is in the eye of the beholder. So there. ;-P
You ARE stimulating (I personally find sexy in the mind first), interesting and attractive. Attractive does not necessarily equal Hot! I am attracted to a lot of people--some of which are overweight, too short, too tall, etc. What attracts me is who they happen to be, not necessarily the package in which they come!
ReplyDeleteBy my standards, you, Tom and T are all incredibly sexy
Lyn
Swan, I know you and I both are struggling with our reduced sexual intimacy during my/our recovery from my surgery. It has been recovered to an extent the last couple of weeks, but my passion is not as great as it was before the operation yet.
ReplyDeleteI know too that for years now, particularly since your hysterectomy you have felt that the world is filled with 20 something beautiful young women who seem to you to be perfect in every way. You are continually comparing yourself to them and finding yourself lacking. I wish I could stop you from doing that.
You left for work this morning wearing those wonderful white pants that make you ass look so fabulously cute. I haven't been able to think about much else since watching you walk away from me to the car. You are not just attractive to me, YOU ARE HOT!!
It is true I am neither blind not impervious to the beauty of women whom I meet in my life, including those in their 20's. I do have fantasies about them. I also have imaginings about what relationships with them would be like. My god, were I to want to have a conversation with them I'd likely have to get a blackbery and learn to text. I have no idea what we'd base our relationship on in interests, values, beleifs, political perspectives....all of which are divinely alligined in my loving you.
You are absolutely sexy to me physically and in terms of all of the other aspects of our life that make our relationship so exciting and vital. I don't know if you are going to stop torturing yourself that you are somehow insufficient as you have become more mature. You know, I am not at all sure that were I today to encounter you as you were at 24, that I'd be interested in you. It is the gifts your life experience and maturity have created that make you so beguiling.
I love you and think you are absolutely sexy, vibrant, brilliant, exciting, confusing, enhralling, and quite beautiful, and while there are hundreds of women I'd love to spank, no one has what you offer me and bless me with everyday.
Tom
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.
Master, thisgirl, Carrie Ann, Amber, and LynLass --
ReplyDeleteI want to thank each one of you for your kind words and affirmations. I understand the place where your comments and "corrections" to my perceptions come from, and I share them at an intellectual level.
However, I have very mixed feelings about this. I really do comprehend that there is more to "sexy" than the physical beauty that our culture tends to emphasize. Surely a lovely body without an ounce of personality or intellect is a pretty empty vessel. And contrary to thisgirl's assertion that I am "modest," I will own the attributes I do have including intellect and experience.
Still, that isn't what this "sexy blogger" thing is about. The requirement that people list five things about themselves that are sexy has not elicited claims to high IQ's and great wisdom and conversational brilliance. Not at all. People have addressed body shape and sexual prowess and... That is the simple fact.
So. Which is it? All the comments here have pointed to those other, less "hawt" attributes as "sexy," but when asked to name sexy things about ourselves, we go immediately to our ability to achieve multiple orgasms, or give a great blow job, or squirt, or whatever. I remember when I was first engaged to he who shall remain nameless. Someone asked him whether he was in love with my mind or my body. He stopped for a minute like a deer caught in the headlights and then stammered that he loved them both. Wrong answer. I was 19 years old and wished forever after that he had waxed poetic about my body... yeah, right!
Anyway, I know that it is all true that all those other things are part of "being sexy," but it is like telling the kid who just struck out at bat that they have a really great sense of humor. It's nice but not really it.
swan
swan,
ReplyDeleteI work(ed) with a group of twenty somethings...all hot and cute and perky. I was the dumpy middle aged nurse in the mix. I totally get what you are saying. My solution to the problem...I surround myself with people who do think I'm wonderful, and sexy, and fun. Then I am all of those things. Then I breathe it in like the air.
carolynn