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Forbidden Fruit

Forbidden fruit is any object of desire whose appeal is a direct result of the absolute knowledge that it cannot or should not be obtained or something that someone may want but is forbidden to have.  Metaphorically, the phrase generally refers to any indulgence or pleasure that is considered illegal or immoral and potentially dangerous or harmful, particularly relating to sex.  In western culture, the apple is the fruit specified by Christian scripture as forbidden to Eve in the primordial garden.  Other fruits are sometimes thought to fill the same role -- the pomegranate for example... 

 I think that the metaphorical "forbidden fruit" of illicit sexuality plays its part in our drives, even today, even when we may or may not buy into the scriptural stories of "the fall." I have, for the last few weeks been periodically contemplating how it is that so many women who would never step outside the traditional boundaries of socially acceptable sexual relatedness, step out into spanking and BDSM first.  Not as some sort of sexual evolution after years spent learning that plain, old, garden-variety, missionary-position sex doesn't really do it for them -- but right out of the chute... I wouldn't even have imagined that there were so many 40-year-old virgins, and I find it mathematically improbable that so many of them show up in our world.  Something is at work here...

Consider how many women have wandered through our lives, over the years, looking for "something."  They've all had their stories to tell, and each has had a belief system and value system that they were willing to set aside and overlook in the interest of pursuing the "forbidden fruit" of spanking in our very sexually constrained society: 
  • One who, in her 40's, remained a virgin and had never appeared undressed in front of a man who was not a physician -- more than willing to disrobe for the chance to get spanked...
  • One, an ordained minister and a firm believer in "saving herself for marriage" who was nonetheless eager to pursue her spanking desires, and then return to her nice, safe, sanctioned life and wait for "Mr. Right" to come along and make an honest woman of her.
  • One who, believing her husband would never tolerate her interest in spanking, sought to fit spanking into the occasional open spaces in her life where "he would never become wise" to what she was about.
  • One who believed that somehow what she called "anarchistic BDSM" could help her to atone for past failings.

There is an undeniable appeal, for some -- perhaps for many, to sexual connections that have the added scintilla of the illicit.  Breaking the rules seems to increase the excitement, and the risk of "getting caught" seems to ratchet up the "hot and sexy" feel for many.  Women who keep their blouses buttoned up to the very top, who wear sensible foundation garments, who would never be caught naked in a public locker room, who cannot easily utter the words that name their own genitalia -- seem hungry for sexual trysts that let them think they are somehow daring and bold... but "good girls" just don't do that sort of thing.  So they all come looking for spanking.  Spanking has the valance of coercion, of force.  If you really do believe that, in indulging your sexual drives you are somehow being sinful, then with spanking, you can simultaneously get your jollies and atone all at once.  A real time saver -- that.

I will probably never entirely understand it.  I only know I keep seeing it happen.  



  1. Fascinating. I also wonder why it is that so many women are 40-something when we come to it, rather than 20? Any thoughts?

  2. Well, sin -- I think that many of "us" are, or were, 40-something when we came to this precisely because that was the time when most of "us" came to have access to the Internet. I didn't grow up with all of this technology, and in my twenties and thirties, I had no idea that there were other people who were LIKE THIS. I honestly, really, truly believed that it was just me -- that I was the only one; a singular, weird, perverted and sick oddity. I will never forget the day when, having typed the word "spank" into the search engine on my very first personal computer, I discovered a whole world that I had no idea about previously.
    I am not sure that for today's younger women things are nearly so opaque or impenetrable. I bet the numbers of women "coming to it" in their 40's declines as we all go along. There's no reason to be quite so unaware in today's world.



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