Breaking All the Rules Again

We knew, or perhaps more correctly, we hoped and dreamed that this day would come. As of yesterday -- just short of six months post-surgery, Master weighs less than I do (applause here). He may lose as much as 31 more pounds before He figures He is really "done." While I continue to lose weight, that is progressing way more slowly for me, and I'll likely not ever reach the low that He will hit.




I worried about this in the beginning -- just a little bit.




There are serious social imperatives about relative size in relationships. The unspoken rules say that men ought to be taller than their female partners; preferably by several inches, and that tends to correlate with a corresponding social dictum that the man ought to outweigh the woman.




We learn the rules very early. Check out any junior high school social and take note of those couples who are actually dancing. The surest path to feminine adolescent wall-flowerhood is to spring up to a towering height at an early age. All those not quite grown young fellows will avoid the tall, gawky girl like the plague.

Culture is the water in which we all swim, and our culture gives us the message about what is and is not "right" about size differentials in male-female relating. Understanding that comes very early to some of us -- I was taller than my 5th grade teacher, and taller than ALL the boys I knew until well into high school. It was a lonely passage. In an almost ironic sense, those tortured years as the too tall girl in every class were a sort of foreshadowing ... I am taller than Master by nearly 3 inches. We break the social mold. There too.



Now, we'll be outside the norms for relative weights as well. I will likely outweight Him for the rest of our days. We don't look like a couple to the vast majority of people we meet, and if we did appear that way, I imagine we'd cause heads to turn just because of the apparent difference in our sizes.




Much as we tend to associate size with power in our culture, it has never been part of the relationship between the two of us. Within the context of our power exchange, the issue of size has never been one we paid any attention to. He is Master. I am slave. We don't measure that in inches or centimeters. I doubt very seriously that we'll measure it in pounds either. I've quipped once or twice, as we've gone through these months, that He's going to end up being the cute, little, miniature Dominant. He just shrugs that off. Once I even quipped that I'll be big enough to knock Him down and sit on Him. That one got me a look that has kept me from repeating it again.


So. We've reached another milestone. It is perhaps more of a curiosity than anything else. We are who we are with and for one another. I worried in the beginning; worried that He'd shrink and not want a great big tall gal like me. I know it was silly. I knew it then. Sometimes my mind is a wayward critter. He still looks at me and lights up. He still puts a hand in the middle of my back and I am completely His. It was never about His ability to physically overpower me ... Well, almost never; there was that one episode back in the early days of my journey with topamax...



He owns me no matter His size. I am His no matter my size.



swan