What is it That You Guys Do?

Selkie asked a couple of interesting questions in a comment on the "Sunday Spanking" post:

1) I note it is Swan who gets the spanking, Was or is T ever used the same way?
2) Further, is it only spankings that you guys are into?

They are simple direct questions, asked with sincerity (and no hint of rudeness, even though Selkie worried about that). They merit an answer. Were we not glad to share, this would be an odd medium for us to be using to express ourselves. We are always glad to answer sincere questions.

My t and I were initially bonded in an intense D/s relationship wrapped in a lot of SM play very much centered on spanking and flogging. In 2000 I almost lost her. She developed diverticulitis. Not an uncommon condition, and not usually extremely serious -- her case was straight from hell. Her diverticulae ruptured and she developed peritonitis. Her peritoneal abscess was finally identified as MRSA (methicillin-resistant stapholococcus aureus) the, then pretty new, and much more rare than today, antibiotic resistant bacterial infection. She was horribly ill for six months, which period involved several hospitalizations, stretches in ICU (during which time I was told that there was really not much prospect for her survival), a colostomy, and eventually a colostomy reversal. I moved into her hospital and performed her direct care myself and learned to dress and pack her open abdominal wounds and administer her IV antibiotics at home in between hospitalizations. We came through it (miraculously) together and intact except for one aspect of us.

T experienced pain that was horrid beyond belief. There was pain that was beyond any pain control they could provide. They gave her morphine and Demerol to the point that they feared respiratory arrest were they to administer more, and still she was shrieking hysterically in agony.

T's orientation to intense stimuli...to pain....was transformed dramatically. She cannot handle spanking and likely never will again. The unfortunate reality is that, although I am the love of her life and although I love her totally in return -- I am completely immersed in a sensual/erotic orientation that centers on pain in general, but on spanking and other forms of corporal disciplinary spanking like behaviors specifically. That long illness was the advent of the "stunt butts" and likely some of what made our foray into polyamory with swan opportunistic. It is of course far more about who swan is and our great love...but too if she had had no spanking orientation it is likely our love would not have evolved.

T is my wife, my love, and my collared service submissive. She also is an excellent and highly skilled Top should the occasion for that to arise. In that mode we jokingly call her Mistress Trixie. In general though she has shown no desire to Top other men and I have lost the little bit of switch orientation I passed through some years ago (to the regret of both t and swan).

This was a hell of a long way to say, "No -- t is not spanked."

As for your other question: are we into more than "only" spanking? As limited as some might find it spanking, paddling, flogging, caning, single tail whipping, cropping, quirting, strapping, switching etc. are pretty much the extent of our chosen "play." The largest current variant in all of that is that My intrigue with single tail whipping grows more and more -- much to poor swan's ever increasing horror.

It is not that this is as far as our BDSM play has evolved; not because we just don't know any more than this. We have done waxing, needling, bondage (and by the way we very much enjoy bondage/restraint as an adjunct to spanking), and have attended seminars on piss play, and face slapping, and kicking and punching, and cupping (have actually tried that), and fire play (have tried that too), and tickling, and gyne-torture, and CBT (both t and swan have done some CBT....to my unending terror:) and we are not taken with them. Wax play bored us to tears. swan and I think bondage for bondage sake is about as interesting as watching paint dry. t is more taken with shibari-style bondage than we are. We have friends who are way into some or many/all of these and many other diverse BDSM practices. We enjoy their orientations, and appreciate excellence in BDSM practice in all its forms. Many of these are just not fulfilling for us.

Until her hysterectomy, swan and I were heavily involved in intense and frequent vaginal fisting play. It was a form of sexual intimacy that thrilled us both. She has never been able to accommodate that again. My t has a tilted uterus, and she has always been unable to accommodate that sort of insertion.

My initials cut into swan's back are testament to our ritual cutting practice. That level of cutting is serious for us. We are not into the sort of cutting play that results in barely broken skin or skin irritation that is gone in a few hours to weeks, but permanent scarring as a form of body modification that will irrevocably last a lifetime, and may well inscribe one's soul for eternity(that's about as woo woo as I get:) I am trained in cutting techniques, and we have the capacity to engage in that at any time in terms of the necessary tools, but I am more cautious about the risks considering our age.

I have a huge kinife fetish and have likely spent $10,000.00 on my knife collectioon over the past decade. I love using knives for sensual play and just about always include that in the spankings I deliver.

We have no tack bras. Blow guns and darts in the ass while novel aren't "us."

Please note we truly do honor the kink of everyone, appreciate them, and study their skilled practice. There is no judgement here....no condescension, only the description of what stimulates and fulfills us.

So I guess, yes, we are "only" into spanking.

LOL! I guess I could have just said: 1. No, and 2. yes.

Thank you for being interested enough to ask, selkie, and I want to assure you that you never have been rude to Me or to my family.

All the best,

Tom

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined