You Might Be a Wannabe

It seems that the occasional encounter with the proverbial Horney Net Geek is just part of the way life goes if you are in the lifestyle and out here where people can find you. I have some profiles at a couple of sites... solely so that I can go there to chat now and then. ALL of my profiles are very simple and succinct: "I am slave to Raheretic. We live in a 24/7 polyamorous triad household. I am looking for friends." But... the usual HNG cannot read. I am convinced. So this latest one popped up on my IM screen with a hello, and then went right to "You may address me as, Sir." LOL! He's gotta be kidding -- right? No. He's the "master" for me. So, I thanked him politely and explained that I already have a Master, and am not looking for a new one. Not especially bright, my HNG said that was OK -- he wanted to share me. Blech! I explained that, in that case, he would properly be conversing with Master and not with me. He asked "why?" and I zapped him off my screen. Sometimes there is just no reason to spend time with these idiots.



So, for all of you who are plagued by these characters (and I imagine that I am old enough that I have way less trouble with them than many do)... here's a collection of jokes I found at Ambosio's site. They aren't my original material, but they are public domain, and I think they speak to the condition of the BDSM Wannabe (enjoy) -- swan:



If you ever use the phrase "A real sub wouldn't have a problem doing that"... you might be a Wannabe
If you think the word "submissive" means the same thing as "easy"... you might be a Wannabe
If you think leading your sub around by a leash in the supermarket is appropriate entertainment for everyone... you might be a Wannabe
If you think it's perfectly acceptable to address all submissives as "slut"... you might be a Wannabe
If you think SSC stands for "See Submissives Cower"...you might be a Wannabe
If your vanity plate reads "MSTR-2-U"... you might be a Wannabe
If you enter a chat room and command all the subs to call you Sir... you might be a Wannabe
If you're trying to book a flight to GOR... you might be a Wannabe
If you think all subs put out on the first date... you might be a Wannabe
If you think the only purpose for nipple piercing is to have a place to hang your car keys... you might be a Wannabe
If you think the GOR novels are based in fact... you might be a Wannabe
If you can't understand why a sub refuses to meet you for the first time alone at your place... you might be a Wannabe
If you think limits are nothing you need to consider seriously... you might be a Wannabe
If you think safewords are for sissies... you might be a Wannabe
If you think placing a "Sir" or "Master" in front of your nick name automatically makes you a Dom... you might be a Wannabe
If you think R/L is just like cyber... you might be a Wannabe
If you think using lube for fisting or anal play is too kind... you might be a Wannabe (or a really mean sadist)
If you have to constantly refer to the owner's manual to use your toys... you might be a Wannabe
If you think Dom's can't show their feelings and need to be cold and aloof... you might be a Wannabe
If you have any reason to fear ATF Agents could confiscate your toys... you might be a Wannabe
If you think the KGB Interrogation Manual is the definitive "how to" book for BDSM... you might be a Wannabe.
If you think sterile needles for play piercing are too expensive to only use once... you might be a Wannabe
If household items don't inspire you (wooden spoons, clothespins, etc.)... you might be a Wannabe
If you think electricity play consists of plug in socket/exposed wires touching sub... you might be a Wannabe
If you think a bullwhip is the best choice for a warm up tool... you might be a Wannabe