Toy Collection #5

"My" project has been hijacked by Master. Not only is He whomping on my hide with every toy as it comes up in the sequence of things, but as of this posting, He is dictating which ones come up next...


This is a family of paddles, also from Hanson Paddle Werks. Unlike the law paddle, these don't have a name. This distinctive paddle shape can be ordered in a variety of woods -- in two different thicknesses, lexan (also in two thicknesses), and two "sizes:" 18 inch and 14 inch. The other option, when ordering this variety of paddle is whether or not you want holes drilled in it.

The 14 inch size is, probably obviously, a convenient size for very "targeted" paddlings as it can be directed to a single butt cheek. The larger size is really much more of a "whole ass" sort of implement.

Holes are an interesting modification to paddles. There is a theory amongst paddle afficianados that holes decrease wind resistance and therefore increase the speed of the impact. I have been paddled with and without the holes, and I'm not clear that I can tell the difference. I imagine that, with some very precise aerodynamic testing, it might be possible to note a difference, but in practical terms, I just don't think so. One thing that is germane when talking about holes in paddles is the practice of beveling the edges. Hanson bevels the edges of the holes on one side of the paddle. That makes the paddle an entirely different experience depending on which side is used. If it is the beveled side that is hitting the surface, there is very little damage to the skin. If the other side is used, the sharp edges of the holes raise very distinctive round red welts/blisters.

All of our wood paddles in this group are birch or maple, but there are a wide range of woods available from Hanson. At the point of ordering a wooden paddle, one consideration is what type of wood you prefer. They describe the options as "heavy" and "medium-weight" woods. Weights of wood are related to the use of woods in boat building and are actually given a numerical value per cubic foot and per board foot at 15% moisture content on an average basis. For practical purposes a wood that weighs under 2.5 lbs. per board foot is considered light in weight. A wood that exceeds about 3.3 lbs. per board foot is considered heavy. Woods that weigh between these figures are considered medium weight woods.

The lighter, smaller versions are the ones that we play with most often. As with the law paddle, regardless of the "size" paddle, He tends to opt for the lighter weights. Thank goodness!